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SHARING WORST PRACTICE in CORPORATE SPEAKING Granted, I’m just a comedian who enjoys
Simple eye contact is one of the most
KEEPING US IN THE DARK
corporate speaking. But if I’m more
powerful tools we humans possess. It
Rule One in showbiz is: Find Your Light. Rule
effective at communicating your company’s
makes every monologue into a potential
One in Corporate Speaking is apparently
message than your CEO - then maybe we
dialogue. But the default setting for many
Find the Light and Stand Just Outside It.
need to talk. Of course there are tips and
corporate speakers is: Just Put All Your
I’ve literally heard top management stop
tricks that we comedians can teach you.
Words in the PowerPoint and Read It Like
in the middle of a speech to say “It’s too
But for now, let’s just have fun identifying
a TelePrompter.
bright” and move into the shadow so we
some recognizably bad habits. Or, if you
can’t see them. Like a ghost is speaking.
TRYING TO ESCAPE
And then there’s the PowerPoint Projector.
Some speakers are like sharks: they have
Far too many corporate speakers see the
DON’T PICTURE US
to keep moving to stay alive. The feet are
projector and conclude: “Why not stand half
IN OUR UNDERWEAR
like an engine to keep the mouth moving.
in the beamer light? That way I’ll look like a
For those afraid of public speaking, the
Movement can be quite effective, but not if
disembodied head AND there will be bits of
classic advice is “Just picture them in
it’s a nervous tic. Some feet pace, some feet
my slide in total shadow!” New Rule: Pretend
their underwear.” Or picture us on fire.
wander, and some feet seem to keep aiming
the Projector is a Deadly Laser Beam. Every
Or picture us as dogs in sweaters. But
for the door. Be careful, feet - or we might
part of your head that gets hit by that beam
DO picture us - meaning LOOK AT US.
nail you to the floor.
will be sliced off. Because it should be.
will, “Sharing Worst Practice.”
Gregory Shapiro (b.1968) is the author of How to be Dutch: The Quiz and the voice of Trump in the viral video ‘Netherlands Second.’ In 2020 he celebrates 25 years as corporate speaker and coach. His show Trump Up the Volume can be seen at Boom Chicago. www.gregshapiro.nl
Photography Jaiwey Nuij
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