HAVE A SENSE OF PURPOSE By Dr. Sheila French
Wellbeing and Mindfulness Coach
Self-doubt, self-criticism, and a lack of confidence can arise from our
upbringing and the
people we meet. Past
partners, experiences,
and mistakes, all of which do not need to define our future. Self-doubt can hold you back in your
career and relationships with family and friends sabotaging your
success and happiness. Menopause can be a
time when levels of selfdoubt and self-criticism increase, and overall
confidence decreases.
S
ometimes the inner voice in our heads is not very helpful to us. We seem to have two voices, the hero voice who celebrates our accomplishments, our strengths and our confidence, and the critical voice who sits on our shoulders and questions everything we say and do. At times of stress and anxiety often experienced during menopause, the critical voice seems to battle with the hero, winning out and causing us crippling self-doubt. In Mindfulness training we believe that whatever we feed energy into is also what will take our energy. If you worry a great deal and keep feeding the worry with more worries, then that is what you are giving your energy to. Research in Neuroscience
backs this up, whatever neural networks in our brain we use the most, become the dominant pathways in our brain. Hence, we become a socalled ‘worrier’ if we continue to practice worrying. Our critical head is just sitting there waiting to be fed, but if we decide not to feed it and even challenge it, then our inner hero can learn to get rid of the critical head for good. Here are some tips and exercises that I do with my clients to get rid of that destructive critical voice and remove self-doubt. Of course, at this juncture I should point out that a little self-doubt is healthy, without it we might become overly sure of ourselves, and our decision making, and even take risks in our lives.
