Why we need boundaries Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ . . . Each one should carry their own load. —Galatians 6:2, 5
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t is easy to fall into the trap of thinking we are not doing enough. As we have seen, this can lead to false guilt, as we feel pressured to live up to other people’s expectations. How can we avoid this trap? By setting boundaries.
Boundaries are essentially agreed rules and principles that establish clearly what should or shouldn’t be done, or draw lines where each person’s responsibility begins and ends. It also involves understanding the consequences of personal actions and choices. For example, if you’re sharing space at home with the person you’re caring for, boundaries determine who is the head of your home, what is considered acceptable and unacceptable behaviour, and how privacy is to be respected. 74
Without boundaries in our physical, emotional, and relational lives, we would live at the whim and fancy of others. Boundaries tell others how far they can go and how far we are willing to go. They help us to understand our right and responsibility to steward the time, talents, and emotional, material, physical, and spiritual gifts that God has given us. There is a biblical basis for setting boundaries. We can see them in God’s rules for mankind’s role in creation, His expectations for our conduct, and His instructions on relationships between governments and citizens in a country, spouses in a marriage, relatives in a family, and residents in a community. Boundaries bless and protect by ensuring that we can
