The Hilarian 2nd Edition 2020

Page 42

PROMISES TO MY POST-QUARANTINE SELF By Olivia Edmonds I’m sure we’ve all been planning- nay fantastingin true A-type personality law student style, about the many ways we aim to improve ourselves during isolation. The post quarantineprison bodies; the many high brow books we will finally get around to reading ( “law just has soo many prescribed readings, it takes the joy out of it. You wouldn’t understand, the workload is Just. So. Intense.); the 2.7 languages we will learn, combined with learning to hide from the murderous rage of the Duolingo Owl; as well as many more DELISH self improvement schemes, e.g. poorly made bread, to flaunt to your devoted 743 followers on Instagram.

1. I PROMISE TO ATTEND NON-COMPULSORY SEMINARS: Ideally this will last at least half the semester. In all likelihood, this will last two weeks until you remember that online uni actually ain’t that bad (they’re really into something with this whole Zoom thing guys). 2. I PROMISE TO GO TO LECTURES (PHYSICALLY; SPIRITUALLY; SOMEWHAT MENTALLY).

Sit real close to a stranger, really lean into the 1.5 metre bubble, who knows maybe you’ll find your next mooting partner!. Have a chit chat. Ask Basically, quarantine is an incubator for the to borrow their phone charger, maybe breathe perfect you. But there’s no doubt we all miss the down their neck a little. Sit on their lap. Take ever elusive outdoors, and we can't ever miss an some notes. opportunity for self improvement can we? So, here are the promises I’ve made to my future 3. I PROMISE TO NEVER FLAKE AGAIN. self, for when we are finally free for curating the ideal post quazza life. I implore you to take some I promise I will never again be ~that bitch~ who uses the ol’ sorry I can't come anymore tonight of them on for your own benefit. :( Yeah I have a Law assignment due. Yeah did you know I did Law? Well I have an essay due. Yeah for my Law degree. It’s really hard. The Law degree. Yeah.

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