The Hilarian 1st Edition 2020

Page 32

5 REASRONS JAPRIS ARE SUPERIOR TO JORTS: Words by Sofia Arlotta

Lately, I’ve noticed that jorts have been making a comeback around the law school. This comeback is unnecessary and has upset me for many reasons, leaving me wondering why japris (jean capris) aren’t in the limelight instead.

4. They own their virginity Many think that when the denim goes below the knee but above the ankle virginity intensifies, but this is a common misconception. Both jort and japris wearers are virgins - the difference: the japris wearer is just more upfront about their 1. They’re breezy virgin status. And there is nothing sexier than Give me an example of when you’ve seen a tight confidence - especially when paired with a fresh japris? You can’t. Your circulation will seriously New Balance shoe tied in a crisp double knot. thank you. 5. You can wear them in the Vatican 2. They accommodate to the unpredictability of That’s right - just like paedophilia the japris Adelaide’s weather length is accepted in the Catholic Church. We all know the feeling too hot for jeans, too cold for shorts. Japris is the perfect solution. 3. They’re a bit culty When I think of Japris my brain thinks cult - and hey! Who doesn’t like to be apart of something? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume that 75% of Waco members owned at least one pair of japris.

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