A
3.
If you don’t think you’ll
s we all know, exams aren’t exactly the
come out on top in a fight
highlight of our term calendar. They are
or other violent methods, try
however inescapable. Or are they? If you are so
to
desperate to get out of exams, here are some
different
“valid” ways to get out of writing them and still get
get
teacher
the grade average…. possibly.
expelled
in
a
way. Tell every that
you
don’t
have to write their subject’s exam as you already know
Warning: Do not follow these
everything. At some point,
instructions unless you are
you’ll find the right teacher who will give you more than
very, very desperate.
just a blue file for your arro1.
gance. If your teachers are
Break all your fingers (on both hands just to
super chilled, slap them. In most cases, you
be safe). However painful, it will still save you
won’t get hit back, so you can take your sus-
the mental pain of exams. 2.
pension (or expulsion) without ending up in the ICU.
Punch a few people in the face the day before exams start. If you are lucky you will only get suspended long enough to miss exams. If you do end up getting expelled, well at least
you tried. And who knows, with your brandnew track record of violence you might never have to go to school again.
4.
Have an “emotional breakdown” (you need to be a good actor). Arrive at school looking tired and teary-eyed (makeup is useful here). Right before you have to start writing, fake a faint. When you get sent home, convince your mom to let you stay at home
