Guilt: True or false? Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. —Romans 8:1–2
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s caregivers, we feel responsible for making our loved ones happy, or ensuring that their needs are met—all the while balancing the demands of our own families, spiritual lives, jobs, and social interactions. Saddled with so many competing priorities and demands, we are likely to fail in some of our responsibilities. The result? A deep sense of guilt for letting our loved ones down, or inadequacy for failing as a parent, child, or sibling. We feel guilty when we don’t seem capable of giving our loved ones the quality of care they need; when we are accused of putting our personal needs first; when we have to make difficult decisions against the wishes of an aged parent; and when we end up neglecting our own spouses and children.
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But what you are feeling may be false guilt—possibly the biggest struggle that caregivers face. What’s the difference? True guilt arises from wrongdoing. It comes with a sense of culpability or responsibility for a wrong action. It comes from something we did (or didn’t do). If we are truly responsible, then we must confess our sin (1 John 1:9) and seek restoration (Matthew 18:15–17). True guilt is God’s way of signalling that something is wrong and needs to be made right. False guilt, on the other hand, comes from expectations that are placed on us by others. They come from those we care for or from our families—or even ourselves. Often unrealistic, these expectations aren’t based on moral choices of right or wrong,
