At Innovis Health, our team is here when you need them most, providing same day care appointments at our Fargo-Moorhead family medicine clinic locations. You’ll be seen that same day with your own provider or a team member that you already know and trust. It’s just another way of making life better here. So when you need to save the world, but your powers are not what they used to be, call Innovis Health today.
From the moment before you are actually a mom & you think, ‘I should be taking a prenatal vitamin if I’m trying to get pregnant,’ you are just embarking the endless list of ways you need to conduct yourself to be a good parent. At OTMOM, we do our best to avoid “should be-s”. While you will find this spring issue full of advice, wisdom, and inspiration, each page might as well have a giant heading at the top that reads “only if it works for you”. After all, OTMOM knows there are many ways to parent our kids and we strive to bring views from across the parenting spectrum. At the request of our readers who say they ‘should be doing better, but’…, we are introducing a new section called body + being. With a local voice in health and wellness, you can expect this section to offer easy and helpful hints with insight into a better way of overall wellbeing for you and your family. You never know when you’re going to encounter a ‘should be’ that will stick!
enjoy the read
dani & sheri founders and inspired moms
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
PUBLISHER DS Communication, LLC
EDITOR Dani Parkos Fluge
COPY EDITOR Deb Uglem
ADVERTISING Karan Burley Ambuehl p: 701.367.5647
e: karan@onthemindsofmoms.com
Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe p: 701.306.1624
e: sheri@onthemindsofmoms.com
PHOTOGRAPHY Ria Czichotzki – rialee photography
Scott Thuen – Thuen Design
DESIGN AND LAYOUT Scott Thuen – Thuen Design www.thuendesign.com
AD DESIGN Casie Beldo
Lindsay Arneson
Scott Thuen
Tara Kessler
WEBSITE DESIGN Kevin Tobosa – Tobosa Creative Group www.tobosa.com
EDITORIAL CONTACT e: info@onthemindsofmoms.com
INFORMATION mail: PO Box 190, Fargo, ND 58107
SUBSCRIPTION e: info@onthemindsofmoms.com
COVER PHOTO BY rialee photography www.rialeephotography.com
You could WIN 2 Free round-trip airline tickets
Do you want to save money and have a chance to win two free round-trip airline tickets to anywhere in the continental US? * All you have to do is visit www.FargoPages.com/coupons and sign up to receive great offers from local merchants by e-mail before March 9 th Use referral code OTMOM.
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OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT
On The Minds Of Moms is dedicated to providing a community of local support and real-life advice for the modern day mom who is on the go and needs to know. We are inspired to help the woman behind “the mom” balance it all by offering support, validation and reassurance she is a good mom wanting only the best for herself and family.
On The Minds Of Moms is a quarterly magazine written by, for and about local moms in the greater Fargo-Moorhead area. On The Minds Of Moms strives to achieve a balance between useful information and entertaining content. Written to serve as the local reading alternative to family magazines that are produced for a larger regional/ national audience.
On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision.
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Learn more at www.MyMStateOnline.com
An RN who changed her healthcare focus from treating disease to preventing it, Cathy is a personal trainer, group fitness instructor and trained wellness coach. She has been actively involved with many local health related organizations including the Fargo Marathon Youth Run and American Cancer Society Charity Run and is currently involved with the GoFarKids program. A mother of three, Cathy has run several half and full marathons and is an avid fitness and wellness enthusiast.
A Special Education and Learning Disabilities major from MSUM, Chontelle feels blessed to have been an instructor at Reading Therapy Center in Willmar, MN. She has enjoyed her expanding role as the director of the newly formed RTC office in Moorhead. Chontelle and her husband, Chad, are the proud parents of two beautiful kids, Katryna [4] and Brody [2]. She enjoys getting together with friends, watching movies, reading and most importantly spending time with her family.
When Nancy is not working at Wells Fargo, she is cheering for her two daughters as they learn to love life. She also enjoys running, biking, writing, reading Janet Evanovich, and spending time with family and friends. Nancy credits her Artist Way friends for inspiring her to write and share her story. She and her husband, Jim Melting, are teaching their daughters the fine art of road tripping, even if it is just to the lakes every weekend in the summer.
A busy mother of six, Dr. Tracie Mallberg is a Family Physician and owner of the independent family practice LilyCare clinic in West Fargo. When she is not busy with her clinic, she and her significant other, Dan, stay busy attending the various activities of their kiddos and occasionally squeak in a little time to go dancing or riding motorcycle. They love to travel and try new endeavors like parasailing, cliff-jumping and snorkeling when they can. She is a “wanna-a-be” scrap-booker and very much enjoys writing.
After 22 years as a registered nurse in traditional medicine, Millie gave up the world of drugs and disease and has been teaching health and wellness. Attempts to "retire" seem futile since there seem to be so many people wanting answers to "why do I feel so bad?" Millie, and life partner, Sam, are snowbirds who enjoy families in Fargo and Arizona, often stopping along the way to do seminars and private consultations.
You may be saying to yourself, “I know I’ve seen that girl before!” That’s because Patricia is the alter ego of Valley News Live reporter Tricia O’Connor. She sharpened her writing skills sending travelogues back to her family and friends while living abroad. She wrote of sleeping in a sheep shearing barn in Australia and gaining 30 pounds eating cheese every night in France. Now, she spends her time writing and reporting about all the crazy things happening in the FM area.
The Program Director for Make a Sound Choice [the positive youth development program of FirstChoice Clinic], Kay keeps busy on the West Fargo School Board, but faith and family are top priorities. She and husband Russ have three children Anna [21], Abby [20], and Jacob [18] and a rambunctious black lab, Hank. She loves to read and craft when time permits and dreams about visiting the warm, sandy beaches of the world.
the number of sugar-sweetened soft drinks women drink each day. This results in a 83% more likely chance for these women to develop Type 2 diabetes than women who only have one occasionally
the number of times your kiddos may have to taste a new fruit or veggie before they decide they like it
A native of Mayville, ND and the third of four kids in her family [the fourth is her twin sister], Tara graduated from MSU-Moorhead with a B.S. Degree in Graphic Communications and currently utilizes her talents at Swanson Health Products as a public relations specialist. Tara is a single mom to 4 year old son Brody who has a metabolic disorder called MCAD. It requires the daily monitoring and planning of a restricted diet, maintaining a strict feeding schedule and avoiding illnesses.
photography by | rialee photography
My family. They have always been unconditionally supportive of me, but since I became a single mom, they have been my lifeline. I don’t tell them enough, but I appreciate them so very much.
To sing. I love music and I love singing, I just wish I were good at it! Brody has inherited my love of music and I’m holding out hope that he can carry a tune.
Seth Godin [my idol], Dooce [a fun “mom” blog], Swanson Health Products [gotta read my own!]
the greatest giggle my son has given me…
One day we were talking about “Grandma Ronnie” [my maternal grandmother]. Brody said, “Grandma Ronnie is my great grandma, but Grandma Carlotta [my mother] is my best grandma.”
the TV show I hate to admit I watch…
Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Enough said.
my family gives me…
Support. I don’t know where I’d be without my family. They are Brody’s father-figures, sibling stand-ins and surrogate moms. Even though they are his extended family, they are his whole family.
the company most likely to hire me as product spokesperson…
Aquaphor from Eucerin. It’s the only thing that works for my lips in the winter. [My confession: I’m
a lip blam junkie…I’ll try ANY new lip balm, but I always go back to what works: Auqaphor.]
my idea of a good date…
Laughing. Real laughing, not the polite or nervous kind. If laughter is genuine, it makes a date good.
if I had $500 to shop in one store in town it would be…
Barnes and Noble. I could spend hours at B&N and never get bored! Books, coffee and Wi-Fi—it’s like a mini-vacation!
one thing I would hate to run out of…
Yo-J. It’s a yogurt and juice drink that Brody loves [and it’s really healthy]. We took a vacation to the Virgin Islands last spring and they don’t have Yo-J. I ended up making my own for a week and it just wasn’t the same. [Just ask Brody!]
Koshi Blueberry Waffels and Turkey Bites. It’s “Brody-friendly”, packed with protein and he’ll eat it anytime.
Cell charger, lip balm, juice box, animal crackers and gum.
My friends. They are fun, help me to maintain perspective and they are very understanding of my restrictions and limitations. Being a single mom means last minute availability and last-minute cancellations. I’m very lucky to have such amazing friends!
Remind your twins to appreciate each other because they are lucky to have one another. Also encourage them to make an effort to have separate friends, activities and interests. Learning to be an individual in a world that wants them to be one unit [i.e. “the twins” vs. “Tara or Heather”] is a very important life lesson that is easier learned when young.
music and I love singing, I just wish I were good at it!
My husband, Drew, and I are about to embark on a journey. We’ll enter our adventure with vigor, nervous excitement, logs, and journals full of important numbers. There will be fun, but also some blood & chaffing, lots of sweat and laundry, lost toe nails and, for me, some tears. Mission objective: 4 months of training for and completing the Fargo marathon this spring. If all goes as planned, some mix of optimism and determination will carry us over that finish line in the Fargodome on May 22nd!
We share many things: love, respect, values, family & household responsibilities, a love of running, diaper, sick-child and middle-of-the-night-nightmareduties…you get the point. But, sharing has its limits, and our approach to training for and finishing this event will, most-assuredly, be vastly different.
For one thing, Drew runs alone. In fact, he’d rather be beaten to a pulp with his own leg than run with a group. The “loner” is always prepared. His long runs are crafted in a careful, methodical, border-line obsessive manner. He charts his course. He drives the course to calculate the mileage and plants water at specific mile markers. A hand-made, laminated, mile-by-mile pace chart is secure, but accessible in his cap, to keep him on measured tempo. It’s odd, yes, but impressive, and I watch him in bemused awe.
My prep time isn’t as interesting and is much less time consuming. I wake up and layer, ready to face the elements. My satellite mileage watch tracks my distance and pace. I need gum to click and clack my way through the unmarked course. Occasionally, usually around mile 15, regret sets in for my lack of preparation, but I swallow hard and relieve the regret through conversation. I rarely run alone. I need “wing-men” to run on my right side because of my visual difficulties. Besides, I believe there’s strength in numbers. I’ve been a member of three running groups [FB’s, Women High on Running, and Red River Runners], and have made life-long friends through these enterprises. I have gained a reputation of talking people through their 20 milers, if not burning up the course. I tell stories and people listen. Everyone has a talent! Plus, it makes the time go by faster, and
Sharing has its limits, and our approach to training for and finishing this event will, most-assuredly, be vastly different
I’m a stay-at-home mom, so it’s the only time people listen to me!
Scheduling for the longer, more arduous runs gets complicated when both mom and dad are training for 26.2 miles of fun. For my part, I’m a morning person. So, my mornings begin at 5, with a training run. As a mom, there are few hours to get a workout, without imposing on the kids’ schedules. Besides, Drew and I can’t both be gone at that hour! Someone needs to be sleeping peacefully, warmly bundled up in a fetallike position protecting our children, for Pete’s sake! Thank you, honey.
Drew prefers to do his long runs on Sunday…afternoons…after church. Perfect timing…for him. Many
nights during the week his daily, shorter runs are late in the evenings, around 10 or 11. Ugh. No thanks! I’d have talked myself out of it by then! He’s a determined bugger.
Ahhh, then there’s the post-run ritual. That’s where it gets interesting between the sexes…when I walk in the door post-run, the house is just beginning to bustle. I climb up the stairs, exhilarated and so eager to share the details with Drew: bathroom stops, combating the aches and pains, sharing my pace and my route, and hoping there’s time for a shower. I want him to live this moment with me, you know. Really travel this journey by my side.
Not Drew. Nope. He stumbles in the door, hustles past whomever’s closest, still listening intently to segments of the Rush Limbaugh show that he’s downloaded on to his iPod. We know, from experience, what daddy needs. He needs water, a shower and some
Our approaches may be different, but, our goals are the same
Advil. Then, he breaks out the freezer baggies filled with ice. He settles himself on the floor with the ice carefully placed, and cozies up to the Sunday paper. In his defense, he is older, and needs these recovery rituals.
At any rate, our approaches may be different, but, our goals are the same. Our triumphs are unremarkably glorious to us. Similarly, whether you aim to finish 3 or 26.2 miles, it’s your race and yours alone. What an opportunity, and the experience of a lifetime!
And, whether you’re a boy or a girl, a mom or a dad remember this: “the pursuit is the reward!” So, run, sprint, gallop, walk, shuffle, wheel, saunter or hobble across that finish line!
Finally, don’t forget to smile and throw your shaky arms in the air to document your victory for the photographers, like I will! Or, cross that line, quiet and proud with a side grin and a quick glance down at your watch, like Drew. However you get there, victory awaits!!
See you in the Dome!
Kathleen and Drew Wrigley are two of the featured runners for this year’s Fargo marathon. Check out their blogs: www.fargomarathon.com.
Kathleen is running this year’s marathon in an attempt to raise money and awareness for brain aneurysm research and cutting edge treatment options for brain aneurysms, insuring the very best care for patients and their families
Please consider making a tax-deductible charitable donation to: www healtheast org/ foundation/foundation-donation html and click on the link: National Brain Aneurysm Center & St Joseph’s Neurosciences Fund to donate Please specify “In honor of Kathleen Wrigley”
Are your kids geeing enough vitamin D?
Eight year-old Max is one of the brightest kids in his third grade class. He has a wonderful vocabulary, knows everything there is to know about baseball and absorbs information from his favorite channel Animal Planet, but when it comes to reading about baseball [or anything else] he has a lot of trouble.
It takes Max a long time to read a short paragraph and even longer to read a story. He often guesses at how you say a word and many times his guess is wrong. Reading out loud is especially stressful and embarrassing. He is becoming frustrated and feels inferior to his classmates. His teacher recently told Max’s parents that she thinks he might have dyslexia.
Dyslexia does not mean that children see letters in reverse. It simply means that a child has difficulty processing the sounds in a spoken word [phonological awareness]. They see the right letters in the correct order, but read the word incorrectly because they can’t perceive the part of the word that needs to be changed or fixed.
Most children, who struggle with reading, or decoding, are born with an underlying cognitive weakness called weak phonological awareness. This simply means their brain does not allow them to perceive individual sounds and syllables within spoken words. These children will often:
• Have difficulty learning letters and sounds in Kindergarten
• Add, omit, or substitute sounds or syllables in words while reading or spelling
• Guess while reading, as they have difficulty sounding out unknown words
• Have difficulty understanding phonics instruction
• May regularly mispronounce words such as “libray” for library, “festible” for festival, or “aminal” for animal
• Have difficulty learning sight words
• Have difficulty increasing reading fluency
• Have difficulty with spelling
Most people assume that part of being smart is being able to read well. The last 25+ years of leading national research have proven this as false. Did you know:
• A reading disability is NOT a developmental delay…it is not outgrown
• In most cases, IQ is not a factor as many children who struggle with reading have a normal intelligence
• Reading difficulties affect boys and girls equally
• In Kindergarten [age 5 ½], a child’s phonological awareness ability can be assessed
As leading researchers began to make a link between phonological awareness and reading, they also began to research and implement specific therapies to address this weakness. Reading difficulties are treatable at any age, but the younger it is addressed the less “catching up” there is to do. Effective treatment must be specific and intensive, directly affecting the core deficit of phonological awareness. There is hope out there & great changes can be made with the appropriate treatment.
A tutoring approach such as re-teaching, etc. is not an effective way to improve a phonemic awareness weakness. The Lindamood Phoneme Sequencing ® and the Seeing Stars® programs are the two sensory cognitive therapies used by the staff at the Reading Therapy Center, Inc. These programs, when done intensively one on one, by a well-trained and experienced therapist, are extremely effective. This therapy process is integrated into every level of reading and spelling from simple syllables to multi-syllables and then brought into contextual reading.
All clients who attend the Reading Therapy Center begin with a thorough evaluation that generally lasts 2-3 hours. This evaluation measures a student’s skill levels in various areas including: reading fluency, phonological processing, rapid naming and word attack skills to name a few. Following this evaluation, the examiner will discuss the test results, offer recommendations and answer questions. This consultation generally lasts for an hour.
The Reading Therapy Center differs from traditional tutoring centers in that we are very specialized and focused on a specific process. By dealing with the underlying cause of a child’s difficulties, we ensure the building blocks for future learning are properly placed. Our programs are also different in terms of delivery. On average, therapy is delivered intensively, two hours a day, five days a week, for a period of two to three months.
Yes, phonemic awareness weakness can be improved & great changes can be made with the appropriate treatment. The Reading Therapy Center’s goal is to teach students to become independent, self-correcting readers. Check out our upcoming informational sessions on February 18th and March 18th in Moorhead, MN. The sessions are free to parents and teachers, but registration is required. Visit our website for more information.
The Reading Therapy Center, Inc. is a diagnostic learning center specializing in the remediation of reading, comprehension and math difficulties in children and adults. All of our clients have varied needs. Many experience difficulty with reading and spelling, which can range from a mild to severe degree. Other students may read well, but struggle to comprehend the material they have read or heard. Some students have difficulty with math, either basic math skills, higher-level concepts, or both. We also treat students that may have difficulty in more than one of the above areas.
1100 32nd Ave South Suite E, Moorhead 218.359.0505
rtc@ideaone.net
www.readingtherapycenter.com
The good news is that while we know HPV can cause cervical changes and genital warts, the majority of people are able to clear the infection within several years just through their own immune system. By 23 months, more than 80% of adolescents had cleared their infection according to one study.
Many women who are able to spontaneously clear one infection continue to be sexually active and become infected with another type of HPV. Infection with multiple types of HPV at one time is common. This also explains why the rate of infection is so high in sexually active women in their 20’s, as they typically have the most sexual partners. As women age, statistically the number of new sexual partners goes down.
The most frequent question I get asked is, “what does this virus do that causes cervical cancer?” I explain that while only about 10% of infections persist beyond
3 years, the longer it is around, the less likely your immune system will clear it spontaneously. HPV causes changes in the cells of the cervix and with routine screening of sexually active women we are able to identify these lesion and either monitor the improvement or treat them as needed.
For anyone who has had an abnormality of their pap test, the words that get tossed around can be a little overwhelming. For instance, mild abnormalities are typically referred to as ASC-US [atypical squamous cells of undetermined significance] or LSIL [lowgrade squamous intraepithelial lesions]. These milder abnormalities are cleared in 91% of women within 3 years. Some women will develop more abnormal lesions called CIN [cervical intraepithelial neoplasia] level 2 or 3. The progression from initial infection to a pap test that would indicate CIN 2 or 3 lesions can be relatively short. In some studies the change can occur within 12 months. I am going to emphasize,
however, that it takes almost 10 years for a CIN 2, 3 lesions to progress to invasive cervical cancer.
vaccinations
There is currently a series of three vaccinations available that prevent the four most common strains of HPV. Two of these strains cause genital warts and two cause cervical changes. The vaccine is currently indicated for females, ages 9-26 years. The first vaccination is to be followed by another in two and six months, respectively. The vaccine is to be used to prevent HPV infection, not to treat a known infection. While there has been some discussion of vaccinating boys, the vaccine is not yet recommended for use or prevention of HPV in that population. The vaccine is considered generally safe despite recent controversy and like any vaccine patients should be monitored for about 15 minutes after each injection to be sure there is no dizziness, nausea, fainting or other immediate side effects.
With concerns about HPV, the vaccination or any other medical issue for that matter, make sure you have a doctor you trust and share your questions and concerns with them.
At LilyCare you have healthcare professionals you can talk with and more importantly, they will take the time to talk with you! Dr. Tracie Mallberg and her staff are here to help you and listen to you. Dr. Tracie is a mother, a physician and she is a North Dakota native. She understands the demands of life, family and health. LilyCare accepts all major insurance providers and are a proud member of the Heartland Healthcare Network.
For anyone who has had an abnormality of their pap test, the words that get tossed around can be a little overwhelming
OK, Moms. So what do you reach for to fill up that sippy cup or water bottle? Will it be juice, milk, soda, Kool-Aid, iced tea, Gatorade, lemonade, or a bottle of water from the store?
Water?? Just from observation of watching children today, rarely do I see their cups or containers filled with water. Have we become a society where we think every other form of liquid is better for our child than water? Here is a fact: when your child was born, their body consisted of 90% water. After all, they were bathed in it 24/7 for 9 months! It’s what made those babies smell so good and have such soft, kissable skin. They were free of toxins, their diets were pure, and their bodies fully hydrated. As long as that regime continued, they were healthy, contented babies. Then along came “treats” of fruit juices filled with sugar,
homogenized milk, popsicles made with Kool-Aid, and, oh yes, don’t forget the vitamin waters because children need vitamins to be healthy. That should satisfy their “I’m thirsty, Mom” cry…right? This is how I thought when I was raising my children, although probably not to the extent that it is done today as we didn’t have so many choices 40 years ago.
Here’s another thought to ponder. If you are giving them water to drink [which is the ONLY fluid that actually hydrates the body], what kind of water are you giving them? And if you are buying that bottled water, how much is it costing you? “But isn’t all water the same?” you might ask. Until a couple of years ago I would have thought the answer to that question was “Yes”. In my 45 years of experience as a registered nurse, I actually never questioned that all water wasn’t equal. I just told people to drink lots of water. Then I was introduced to a video that showed how
our bodies function best when they are in an alkaline state, and almost all the fluids we are drinking are acidic, INCLUDING JUICES AND MOST BOTTLED WATERS. Not only are they acidic, they are oxidizing to our cells so they cause us to age!
What does alkalization and oxidation really mean in terms you can understand? Alkaline simply means that the Ph of our cells is greater than 7.0, which is best for health. Our blood, for example, cannot stray far from the 7.35–7.45 range if we want to stay alive. Acidity is anything less than 7.0 on the Ph scale and sets up the body to allow disease to thrive. An acid environment will feed the “Big C”. Yikes! Not only are the fluids that we are drinking today mostly acidic, so are all processed foods, medications, and the adrenalin secreted in the body by strrreessss All of these factors add acid to the body, which puts an oxidative coating on the cells, and eventually, cell by cell, cause a breakdown in the body. No wonder so many people are sick today and the biggest causes of disease for children 13 or younger are cancer and diabetes.
Could good health be as simple as adding THE RIGHT KIND OF WATER to your daily regime, especially for your child? An alkalized, ionized water such as the Kangen water is one of the most powerful antioxidants on the planet today, which means it can wash that oxidative coating off the cell wall, allow the water to penetrate into the cell, hydrate it, balance the Ph, and, guess what, create a clear thinking, happy and content child again. No more runny noses, belly aches, and anxiety breakouts, or sometimes called temper tantrums, depending on the child’s age.
Would eliminating just bottled water from your grocery list help your child’s health and your budget?
Consider this. For one person to drink an adequate supply of bottled water a day, [based on taking their body weight, dividing it in half, and drinking that many ounces], it would cost approximately $4.92 a day, or $1,795 per year. If a family of four is doing that, it would cost them $7,183 a year. And that’s just eliminating water! Think what would happen if you also eliminated the soda and juice. You could take a family vacation for 2 weeks and still have money left over!
Drinking unfiltered tap water is another whole story for another article, but for now I would suggest that you go to www.ewg.org/tap-water/whatsinyourwater and
check out your cities water. Did you know they can add up to 70 chemicals to make your water register alkaline? You might want to think again before you just take it for granted that unfiltered tap water is okay to put in a body.
It is my conviction that we need to put the brakes on the amount of sugar-filled juices, sodas, and expensive bottled waters we are giving our children if we want them to grow up to become healthy, happy adults.
Please take the time to educate yourself about the different liquids and how they affect your body by going to my website, www.lifelinetohealth.com and watch a ten minute demonstration on bottled waters. Then take our challenge to receive FREE, ALKALINE, IONIZED WATER FOR 21 DAYS.
www.lifelinetohealth.com
millie@lifelinetohealth.com
A teacher, coach, husband and dad to Andrew [6], Leah [4], Kate [3], and Rachel [1], Steve grew up in Cavalier, ND where he met and married his high school sweetheart Patricia. An NDSU alum and former Bison football player, Steve now teaches classes in leadership and is the head football coach of the Fargo Shanley Deacons.
The balance that I keep between my family and profession. It is hard to find with our busy schedules, but having a good relationship with my wife and my family sure allows me to have a sharper focus at work.
How to more fully utilize the power of the conscious and subconscious mind. It is amazing the obstacles that have been overcome by some people due to the power of their minds. We all have the potential for greatness in us. How do we unlock it?
Run a marathon. My wife has successfully completed eight of them, not to mention numerous half marathons. I think it is really cool and I would love to say that I’ve done one, but I have no desire to go through the training or the event itself!
my kids would describe me as…
A great story reader. The Berenstain Bear voices are my specialty!
if I had to eat only three things for the rest of my life, they would be… French toast with syrup, pizza, lasagna.
the family member most like me…
Andrew. He dresses up as a football player and plays pretend football games complete with a national anthem, starting lineups and replays. He occasionally ‘watches’ his game tapes with his imaginary remote control in the same room where I watch my game film.
favorite seasonal time of the year…
Football season!!! Can you really be a football coach and think any other time of the year would be better?
people would be surprised to know…
We don’t watch TV. My only ‘TV’ time is watching high school game film while I am on the treadmill.
To take responsibility. If you assume responsibility and realize you are where you are in life by your own doing, then it stands to reason you can get to a better place by your own doing as well. It only takes a better attitude, better decisions and better effort.
Joshua 24:15. […decide today whom you will serve… As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.] It’s engraved on a big rock outside of our front door.
Right before answering these questions! We have four kids. No matter how often we do the laundry, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the bottom of the basket!
Slow and random walkers in stores. When you shop with four kids there is a small window of opportunity before someone needs a nap, drink, bathroom, snack or time out. People that walk randomly, take up the whole aisle, or go really slow because shopping is a leisure time activity for them all are detriments to the easily toppled dictatorship I run over the kids.
Life is full of highs and lows. How you manage the lows of life determines how long you stay in them. Likewise how you handle the highs of life also plays a key factor in how long you stay on them. Faith is what gets you through the lows and keeps you humble on the highs.
www.gorednd.com
Heart disease kills one in three woman in North Dakota, but it is highly preventable.
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Artist's Choice
701.232.3821
www.plainsart.org
Surprise, surprise. Trust an artist to create a fabulous art project, because that's what artists do! Anything goes, as long as the inspiration comes from a certain something in the Plains Art Museum galleries. Be prepared to be creative and have fun. Pre-registration is required. FREE.
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Indoor Pool Open Swim
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Splish Splash! Hang onto the summer months by enjoying open swim every Saturday and Sunday from 1:00 pm–5:00 pm at Fargo South High Indoor pool. Fee: 18 and under $1.95, Adults $3.15, Family $6.30.
701.241.9100
www.fargodome.com
Come out and see some crazy trucks rip it up! 7:30 pm start on both days as well as a 2:00 pm show on the 6th.
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www.innovishealth.com
'Brothers and sisters to be', ages 3–7, take part in a variety of activities including making a card for the new baby and seeing a newborn. The class shows siblings how to help with a new baby and what is involved in being the special older brother or sister. A children's tour of the Birthing Center is included. Class is from 6:30 pm–7:45 pm.
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www.gsdakotahorizons.org
Be at the Ramada Plaza Suites
6:00 pm–10:00 pm and support Girls Scouts—Dakota Horizons. Tickets are $40 per person and you can experience a night of delecate desserts, silent auction & heavy hors d’oevres. Get your ticket at Hornbacher’s or the Girls Scouts—Dakota Horizons office at 1211 Prairie Parkway.
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Sweethearts Ball
701.232.3980
www.rmhcfargo.org
Annual event that raises funds for the benefit of the Ronald McDonald house and provides a fabulous evening of dinner, dancing, live & silent auctions and lots of fun! Tickets are $75 per person or $600 for a table. Reserve your tickets today and celebrate Valentine’s day in style & with a cause!
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Happy Valentine's Day!
Chocolate, flowers & your sweetie. Good times!
Family Winter-ific Day
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Enjoy events for the entire family at Edgewood Chalet from 1:00 pm–4:00 pm. Food, Clydesdale sleigh rides, crosscountry skiing and downhill sledding.
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Circus Tickets on Sale Today
701.241.9100
www.fargodome.com
18
Oak Grove Open House
701.373.7114
www.oakgrovelutheran.com
Oak Grove Lutheran School is holding an Open House for its Middle & High School at North Campus from 7:00 pm–8:00 pm. Families learn details about academics, campus ministry, unique programs, student life and extracurricular activities. Have an opportunity to meet Oak Grove administrators, teachers and staff, as well as hear current parents and students share their Oak Grove experience.
th
21 Annual Saturday, February 13, 2010 Holiday Inn 3803 13 Ave S, Fargo
6pm to midnight Dinner Live & Silent Auction Dance Featuring Past Due
$75 per person $600 per table Semi-Formal Attire Reservations Required: 701.232.3980
www.fmambulance.com
B.L.A.S.T. [Babysitting Lessons and Safety Training] Babysitters Day Camp is an initial course from the American Academy of Pediatrics for teens and pre-teens about the responsibilities of caring for children. Using scenario-based learning, the class will also address staying safe and dealing with emergency situations. Course is for those ages 11–15 and runs 9:00 am–3:00 pm at F-M Ambulance Service [2215 18th St. S, Fargo]. $55 fee.
20
Saturday Storytime
701.241.1495
www.fargolibrary.org
Join us for Saturday Storytime for toddlers and preschoolers at the downtown Main Library starting at 10:00 am. No registration required. American Sign Language Interpreter Lori Kuball will be here to sign.
20
Teen Pool Party
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
The hottest hits of today combined with an indoor pool, cool games, free food and prizes and you've got the biggest event of the school year! Admission is free but a junior high or senior high i.d. is required at the door. Contests, prizes and free food will be available while supplies last. Fargo South High Swimming Pool from 6:30 pm–9:00 pm
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Destination Anchor Island
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Get out of the cold and take a cruise to Anchor Island. Spend the day playing in the pool! Participate in your favorite water games with your friends and win prizes! There will be pool games and
deck games. Enjoy listening to Caribbean music and grab yourself a tasty tropical treat. The shallowest depth in the pool is 4 1/2 feet so we recommend all younger children are accompanied by an adult while they are in the pool. Fargo South High Swimming Pool 1:00 pm–5:00 pm. Cost: $2.00 per swimmer
27
Youth Ice Fishing Derby
701.241.1356. www.fargoparks.com
Bring your ice fishing rod and try your luck at the annual Ice Fishing Derby for ages 15 and under! Come and learn more about ice fishing including augers, ice houses, sonar equipment and much more! Hot cocoa, t-shirts and trophies will be awarded for the derby. South Woodhaven Pond, 12:30 pm–2:30 pm. FREE.
26–28
Home & Garden Show
701.241.9100
www.fargodome.com
Believe it or not, under all this snow there is a garden. No better way to get inspired and excited for Spring. Doors open at 3:00 pm on the 26th, 9:00 am on the 27th and 11:00 am on the 28th.
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Wycliffe Gordon
218.359.4299
www.jazzartsfm.com
Jazz Arts Group of Fargo-Moorhead is proud to present Wycliffe Gordon at The Venue starting at 7:00 pm.
All event listings displayed within OTMOM are carefully selected to provide diverse options for families. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided. Although it is not possible to list every event happening in the FM area it is encouraged organizations submit events for consideration to info@onthemindsofmoms.com
1
Passion to Serve
701.237.5902
www.firstchoiceclinic.com
Join FirstChoice Clinic for their fundraising banquet at the Holiday Inn of Fargo. Be there at 7:00 pm and hear from featured speaker and author Kay Coles James. Reserved seating only, so call early to get your ticket.
3
Lights! Camera! Action!
701.232.6102
www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org
The "Imagine That" Children's Theartre
Don't Bug me...I'm Gardening" is a great place to become a gardener, plant detective, two peas in a pod or pesky bug...your imagination is your only limitation! 10:00 am–5:00 pm.
4
Buckle up for Safety
701.234.7233
www.meritcare.com
Are your kids riding safely? Attend this child passenger safety class and be able to select appropriate restraints
for children and understand the importance of using a car seat correctly.
6:00 pm–9:30 pm. Cost is $35 fee with a car seat, $20 fee without a car seat. Space limited.
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4–7
Sportsmen's Boat, Camping & Vacation Show
701.241.9100
www.fargodome.com
13
Frosty Flicks
701.461.8902
www.marcustheatres.com
Nurturing
701.234.5570
www.meritcare.com
An infant massage class for parents and their infants. Free for parents who had their baby at MeritCare. From
7:00 pm–9:00 pm at MeritCare South University, 5th Floor Community Classroom.
6
The Great Art Free-For-All
701.232.3821
www.plainsart.org
In honor of Youth Art Month, you will be allowed to go nuts, bonkers, way-out crazy with art. Bring your own imagination and we'll provide the stuff from which art is made.
basketball friends family good times athletes fun gratitude ALS treatment cure basketball friends family good times athletes fun grat- itude ALS treatment cure basketball friends family good times athletes fun gratitude ALS treatment cure basketball friends family good times athletes fun gratitude ALS treat- ment cure basketball friends family good times athletes fun gratitude ALS treatment cure basketball friends family good times athletes fun gratitude ALS treatment cure basketball friends family good times ath- letes fun gratitude ALS treatment cureas- ketball friends family good times athletes fun gratitude ALS treatment cure basketball friends family good times athletes fun grat- itude ALS treatment cure basketball friends
The Sportsmen’s Show can only mean spring is right around the corner. Grab the family and head out. Doors open the 4th at 5:00 pm, the 5th at Noon, and the 6th & 7th at 10:00 am. Adults: $7.00
Children 6-12: $2.50 Under 6: FREE
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Bon Jovi
701.241.9100
www.fargodome.com
Rock it out girl! Be at the dome because you know you give love a bad name!
19-21
El Zagel Shrine Circus
701.241.9100
www.fargodome.com
Lions & tigers & elephants…oh my!
Family films at the West Acres 14 Theatre starting at 10:00 am. Cost: $2.50 per seat and you get popcorn!
13 & 14
Spring Craft Show
218.233.6117
www.moorheadcentermall.com
Head to the Moorhead Center Mall for some fabulous crafts.
14
Daylight Savings Begins
Don't forget to spring ahead! Turn those clocks ahead.
16
Butterfly Ball Registration
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
The Butter fl y Ball is now held two different nights, choose the night that works best for you and your little girl. Call now for tickets.
WHEN: March 27th, 2010 WHERE: Shanley High School, Fargo, ND
WHAT: A night of family fun & exhibition basketball games featuring the area’s top high school boy & girl athletes.
WHO: Hosted by the Kottsick Krusade, which consists of friends and family of a Fargo woman, Julie Kottsick, who was diagnosed with ALS five years ago. Learn more about Julie at www.onthemindsofmoms.com/past-issues
For more information regarding the event please contact Bud or Julie Kottsick at kottsick1234@msn.com or 701-281-4921 or for sponsorship inquiries contact Jodi Buchholz at jbuchholz@dfcconsultants.com.
218.233.6117
www.moorheadcentermall.com
You never know what you might find at the Moorhead Center Mall!
21
Gold-N-Motion
701.280.0400
www.americangoldgymnastics.com
Don’t miss this opportunity to see why our local talent is considered some of the top competitive and show gymnasts in the country!
23
Oak Grove Open House
701.373.7114
www.oakgrovelutheran.com
Oak Grove Lutheran School is holding an Open House for its Middle & High School at North Campus from 7:00 pm–8:00 pm. Families learn details about academics, campus ministry, unique programs, student life and extracurricular activities. Have an opportunity to meet Oak Grove administrators, teachers and staff, as well as hear current parents and students share their Oak Grove experience.
PRAC Rodeo
701.241.9100
www.fargodome.com
Giddy-Up! Looking for a wild ride without the danger? Doors open at 6:30 pm & showtime is 7:30 pm. Tickets: General
Admission $12 Adults, $6 Kids 2–12 or VIP $25 Reserved Seating, $20 Adults, $10 Kids 2-12.
27
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Kids ages 3 to 8 bring your teddy bear for games, etiquette and dress-up. Bite-size snacks and refreshments will be served. At Rheault Farm Bunkhouse from 10:00 am–11:00 am. Fee: $6 per child.
27
The Sugar Ball
jdrfsugarball@gmail.com
JDRF is dedicated to finding a cure for Juvenile Diabetes. The Sugar Ball is an all-ages, fun filled evening of dinner, dancing and a silent auction. Your $30 ticket and all proceeds from the silent auction will help fund research and bring us closer to a cure.
27
Julie Kottsick ALS Jamboree
701.281.4921
Kottsick1234@msn.com
Be at the Shanley High School and experience a night of family fun and take in exhibition basketball games featuring the area’s top boy & girl senior athletes. This event will raises awareness and funds for the Minnesota ALS Association, now serving North Dakota. All proceeds help serve families in Minnesota and North Dakota deal with this devastating disease. For more information about ALS and the services provided please visit www.alsmn.org
The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering.
—Benjamin Spock
Child Abuse Prevention Month
www.stopchildabusend.com, www.pcamn.org
Help strengthen families and prevent child abuse and neglect.
4
Happy Easter Chocolate bunnies, jelly beans & egg hunts!
7 Carseat 101
701.234.5570
www.meritcare.com
For expecting parents and grandparents this class would be one time a month, from 7:00 pm–8:00 pm. Recommended for moms 6–7 months into their pregnancy, but welcome during any month of pregnancy. Geared for "Newborns". Call to get registered. FREE.
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13
17
John Mayer
701.241.9100
www.fargodome.com
8:00 pm showtime for Mr. Cool!
10
Bean Inspiration
701.232.3821
www.plainsart.org
Been inspired by beans lately? Here's your chance to view the bean and seed mosaic portraits in the Individual to Icon exhibition and have a go at creating your own recipe for inspiring art.
Our Family is Having a Baby!
701.234.5570
www.meritcare.com
Designed for "brothers and sisters to be", ages 3 to 7 years to aid in adjusting to the addition of a new baby in the family. Class include: characteristics and actions of a newborn, feeding the new baby, care of a newborn using demonstrations, doll play and a tour of the Family Birth Center. One or both parents should accompany child to class. 6:30 pm–8:00 pm. Call to register.
MS Walk
701.235.2678
www.walkms.org
Walk because you can. Check-in opens at 8:00 am; Walk starts at 10:00 am at the Bison Sports Arena–NDSU.
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CPR Class
701.234.5570
www.meritcare.com
Learn the ABCs of CPR and receive an American Heart Association participation card. Class is from 9:00 am–Noon. Classes are subject to availability. Call to register.
16 & 17
Butterfly Ball
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
ATTENTION DADS! Spend a special evening with the little princess in your life! Bring your daughters, ages 4–12, to a father/daughter prom. It is truly a special night as this is a chance for dads, step dads, uncles, or grandpas to be able to spend some quality time with their daughters creating a lifetime of memories. The Butterfly Ball is now held two different nights, choose the night that works best for you and your little girl. It is a semi-formal event, with music, dancing, photo opportunities, and a mini “grand march” for other family members to take pictures of the father/daughter couple. Snacks & punch will be served. Location: Ramada Plaza Suites Time: 7:00 pm–9:30 pm Fee: $10 person.
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Raise Safe Kids: One Stage at a time
701.234.5570
www.meritcare.com
As infants and children go through a series of developmental stages, their different behavioral, cognitive, and physical capabilities can put them at increased risk for injury. In an environment designed for adults, children have a poor understanding of risks and danger. 6:00 pm–7:30 pm. Register online.
21 Kids Are Our Business Breakfast
701.293.7273
www.raccfm.com
Join the Rape and Abuse Crisis Center for breakfast at the Holiday Inn at 7:30 am and help out a great cause. Seating s limited so call today. Cost: $65 individual tickets.
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Bumble Bee Brunch
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Join in a fun, bug-themed brunch. There will be craft projects and spring-themed activities. At Rheault Farm Bunkhouse from 9:30 am–11:00 am. Fee: $3 for ages 12 & under & $5 for ages 13 & up. Tickets need to be purchased before.
There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.
—Chinese Proverb
photograph by | rialee photography
story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe
Janie Galegher Clow and her daughter, Dani Parkos Fluge, were familiar with the statistics related to women and heart disease. But like many of us, they never truly reflected on how those statistics related directly to them until they were forced to.
July 17, 2008 Dani was awoken by the familiar chime of her cell phone, but it was 3:16 am. Without thinking or really waking up she snatched it off the nightstand before it would disturb anyone else. It was her step dad Rick…what happened…she stopped breathing, the paramedics are here and their working on her now…WHAT!…they think she’s had a heart attack… but she’s only 54!
Rick, Janie’s husband of 13 years, worked an early shift that started at 4:00 am that unforgettable morning. Before leaving he climbed back into bed to say goodbye, when abruptly Janie sat up struggling to take a breath. Her lifeless body fell back on the bed and laid there unresponsive.
“My husband heard me take my last breath,” Janie said. “I died in my own bedroom.”
Rick immediately called 911 and, following the dispatchers instructions, performed CPR until paramedics arrived just four minutes later—a critical factor.
Dani rushed to MeritCare Hospital to find her mom in the cardiac intensive care unit, sedated, on a ventilator and packed in ice to prevent brain damage due to lack of oxygen. It was terrifying. The doctors were very concerned. A heart attack involves the blockage of blood flow to the heart. Janie had actually suffered cardiac arrest in which her heart suddenly stopped working. “I’m one of the lucky ones because they were
able to bring me back,” Janie said. It is estimated that 95% of people who suffer cardiac arrest in a nonmedical setting don’t survive.
As a single mom, Janie strived to find balance raising Dani while being a successful florist for more than 33 years. Easy to do, Janie put herself on the back burner much of the time. “I didn’t have time for myself so I thought,” Janie stated as a matter of fact. “I think back to how driven I was to get things done that I would ignore all the signs and just keep going and going. All of those things that once seemed important then, no longer carry the same weight,” she explains.
Having now been educated on the signs and symptoms of a heart attack and heart failure, Janie recalls many times she didn’t feel well, her left arm and shoulder would ache, or her heart would beat erratically. She even remembers not being allowed to participate in a blood drive because after taking her pulse they would only allow her to give blood with a doctor’s written permission. Still, she never talked to her doctor about any of it.
Janie also now sees the other factors in her life such as her family history, smoking, and suffering from acid reflux and hyperthyroidism, having gone through early menopause, periodontal disease, stress of running a business and sleep apnea all predisposed her to heart disease. ”I’ve been told I actually suffered many heart attacks over the years,” Janie shares knowing now her heart health should have been on her to-do list long ago.
Janie spent 19 days in the hospital and had a surgical procedure to implant a pacemaker and defibrillator in her heart which insures its beating pattern remains consistent and if needed can give the heart an electrical shock. Once she came home things were far from normal for the independent, always on the
run dynamo. She couldn’t work and had to depend on Dani and Rick for many things as she continued to heal and gain strength. She also went through a mourning of her old normal.
“I was frustrated that my life had to change and I felt like it would never be like before”, Janie recalled. “I have never depended on anyone in my life and I couldn’t stand it. But I remember waking up one morning and thinking ‘I’m taking my life back’ and it was just like that.” Rest, exercise and a healthy diet are now the staples of Janie’s new normal. What has been the biggest change?
“I constantly think about food and the low sodium diet that is so important to my heart failure now. I never used to think about food at all,” Janie said with a laugh. She explained she never ate breakfast, lived on coffee and skipped lunch most days. She never had a weight problem in her life, so never dieted or monitored what she ate. Now she’s a food label nazi and when she gro -
cery shops, you’ll find her surveying the perimeter of the store rather than searching the maze of aisles. “I have to think about what I’m going to make and eat. Processed foods just aren’t in my vocabulary.”
Janie and her family have been told many times she is a miracle to have survived what she has been through, and every day brings challenges. “It can be hard to strike a good balance in my life,” Janie explained. “I don’t want to become too consumed with my new normal and stop living my life.” And although heart disease is progressive and Janie is a candidate for a heart transplant at the University of Minnesota, she is dedicated to a healthy lifestyle that has definitely had an impact on those closest to her, especially her daughter. “Watching my mom reminds me of our family health history and that it has never been more important to put myself back on my to-do list and be aware of my own health.”
Dani has always described her mom as a rock. The person that friends and family lean on and go to for guidance. The person that keeps everyone grounded. Now she is also their inspiration, a walking miracle. It would be easy for Janie to give advice and simply tell you to do what she is doing now, but she knows too often that would fall on deaf ears. But can you afford not to take care of yourself and your heart?
“Have you really ever thought about not being there for your family?” Janie asked. “I mean really take yourself out of the equation. How would it affect your family, your kids? Understand your valuable position in the family. I’ve learned it’s healthy to be selfish. How else are you going to take care of yourself? It’s destructive to be self-centered, but it’s healthy to be selfish and there is a difference.”
Visit www.gorednd.com and take the heart check-up quiz and join Better U and start taking care of you and your heart!
Since 1984, the number of Cardio Vascular Disease deaths for females has exceeded those for males.
In the United States in 2006, all cardiovascular diseases combined claimed the lives of 432,709 females while all forms of cancer combined to kill 269,819 females. Breast cancer claimed the lives of 40,821 females; lung cancer claimed 69,385.
64% of women who died suddenly of Coronary Heart Disease had no previous symptoms.
Among women age 18 and older, 30.6% have regular leisure-time physical activity
Source: www.americanheart.org
Get Active
As little as 30 minutes a day makes a difference
Control Your Cholesterol
A cholesterol level 200 mg/dL or higher puts you in a high risk category, so know your number
Eat Better Bake it, instead of frying, watch the salt and eat foods rich in nutrients
Manage Your Blood Pressure
Hypertension is the single most significant risk factor for heart disease
Keep a Healthy Weight Among Americans age 20 and older, 145 million are overweight or obese, which increases the risk of developing other health problems
Stop Smoking Smokers have a higher risk of developing atherosclerosis, which can lead to coronary heart disease, heart attack and stroke.
I left Fargo 5 days after graduating from Shanley in 1983. I could not wait to get out of town. I was sick of wearing the white-blouse-plaid-skirt uniforms. I was tired of the small town mentality of Fargo. There was a great big world out there beyond the city limits, and I planned to experience it all. In other words, I was a typical 18 year old.
The sun shone brightly as I sped south on University Drive to pick up my friend Susi. She lived in the country, better known as South Acres. We packed our prize possessions in my Dad’s ‘77 Buick Century
for our summer in Grand Teton National Park. What were the essential items for the adventure? I brought several Levis, shorts, t-shirts, sweatshirts, a swimsuit, my sleeping bag, and a few sweaters. I heard the weather could change quickly and drastically in the mountains. Of course, I wore my Tiger tennie shoes. My high school gym teacher, Mrs. Tidd, mentioned that running in the mountains was different from running in Fargo. It had something to do with the altitude and oxygen levels. I really did not care about the details. I just wanted to experience it. I had to bring my walkman and favorite cassettes [Billy Joel, Styx, Brian Adams, Journey, and The Clash]. My fake ID was a no-brainer. The drinking age in Wyoming
photograph by | scott thuen
was 19, just like Minnesota. If the ID worked in the Moorhead bars, especially Kirby’s, it just might get me into a bar or two in Jackson Hole. My camera and several rolls of film were necessary. I heard the Tetons were a bit more scenic than Fargo. My Dad insisted we use a 16-page map/chart device from AAA so we wouldn’t get lost en route to the Tetons. We drank Tab and rocked to Q98 as we headed west on I-94.
Would Fargo be the same when we returned in a few months? I did not care. The thought never crossed my mind. I was just ecstatic to be on the road. And if someone had told me that I would still be living in Fargo 26 years later, I would have laughed in his face.
Fast-forward to March 26, 2009. The Red River was flooding a bit higher and a bit earlier this spring. Since mid-March, I checked the National Weather Service website daily to see the river levels. From my office in downtown Fargo, I watched people fortify the Dike to protect the city from the record-breaking water. Fargo had turned into a war zone, with trucks hauling snow passing trucks hauling dirt in opposite directions. My home in south Fargo was not built in 1997, but the property was a lake during the flood that year. Visions of Grand Fork’s homes submerged in water scared me. Friends told horror stories of being separated from their families for days, not knowing exactly where some loved ones were located. Others told of only having minutes to grab whatever they could from their homes and apartments as they were flooding. The Urban Legend of a family returning to their flooded home in Grand Forks only to find a dead cow in their living room haunted me. Nothing against livestock, but I really did not want to deal with any animal carcass.
When the National Weather Service again updated the crest of the Red to be a foot higher and a day earlier, The Clash lyrics played in my head. “Should I stay or should I go now? If I go, there will be trouble. If I stay there will be double.” I nicknamed my two daughters, ages five and six, “Double Trouble”. Their school cancelled classes the day before because of the weather. Now the schools closed so families would be together should they need to evacuate. My husband, a Happy Hooligan, called Thursday morning to let me know he did not know when he would be home. Fargo City leaders shared the evacuation plans for Fargo,
just in case. Moorhead evacuated a neighborhood. It was time to leave. I could stay with my sister, Mary, and her family in Little Falls, MN. Coincidently, she coordinated the First Link sandbag operation during the ’97 Flood, so she understood the severity of the situation. She wanted and needed to help.
My daughters and I packed our prize possessions into the Subaru for our Little Falls adventure. They each chose one stuffed animal, one blanket, and one sleeping bag. They filled a small container with pretty ponies and pet shop figurines. We packed clothes for 5 days, including rain boots, Spring jackets, snow boots, and snow pants. I selected several Levis, t-shirts, sweatshirts, and a few sweaters. Spring weather in MN may change quickly and drastically. Of course, I packed my new running shoes from Dick Beardsley’s store. A good run would relieve some of my stress. The girls’ Birth Certificates and Social Security cards were no brainers. Do I need to explain the reasons for bringing my laptop, blackberry, camera, cell phone, and iPod? I punched my sister’s address into my GPS,
opened my Diet Coke, plopped “The Apple Dumpling Gang” in the DVD player, and we were off.
It was dark, and snow fell lightly as we drove gingerly on the only open road out of our neighborhood. The snow combined with the dirt made the road slick. In the distance, I saw huge machines digging dirt to shore up the existing dikes. A Red Cross truck passed us on 52nd Avenue. Military people directed traffic as cars stopped on the interstate. KFGO announced another evacuation in Moorhead. People were losing their homes. Water was destroying schools and neighborhoods. Would Fargo be the same when I returned? This time I cared deeply.
This section is dedicated to capturing your mom thoughts. Want to share what’s on your mind? Submit your article idea to info@onthemindsofmoms.com along with a short bio for consideration in an upcoming issue.
blessings photography
photography by kathi
all event photography
lisa nelson photography
master’s hand photography
blessings photography
photography by kathi
all event photography
master’s hand photography
lisa nelson photography
Getting the kids ready in the morning can deter the best of breakfast intentions for both you and your family. The solution is preparing fast and healthy breakfast dishes that easily fit into your crazy morning routine. Make these breakfast cookies on the weekend and enjoy them during the week ahead. You can even make extra and freeze for later.
photograph by | scott thuen
• 1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
• 2-1/2 cups plain rolled oats
• 4 cups all-purpose flour *
• 1 tablespoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1-1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• 1/4 cup canola oil
• 1 cup applesauce
• 2 tablespoons water
• 5 egg whites
• 1-1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 3/4 cup dried cranberries
• 1/3 cup dried raisins [or any other dried fruit] *substitute with whole wheat flour 3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons of whole wheat flour for each 1 cup of all purpose flour
makes 3 dozen cookies
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Combine oats with flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon.
3. Stir in oil, applesauce, water, egg whites, and vanilla. Mix in cranberries, and raisins until well combined.
4. Drop batter by the tablespoonful onto baking sheet and bake 8 to 12 minutes or until golden. Let cookies cool on wire racks. Store completely cooled cookies in an airtight container.
balance it with:
Something with protein like yogurt, low fat cheese stick, glass of skim or low fat milk, or hardboiled egg.
source: on the minds of moms
Dr. Susan Mathison, a Fargo native and graduate of Stanford University, received her medical degree from the University of Texas-Southwestern Medical School in Dallas. After completing seven years of specialty training in Seattle at the University of WA, she returned home to Fargo in 1997. Three years later she made her dream come true when she left a large multi-specialty clinic and started Catalyst Medical Center as an independent physician. She compassionately cares for patients, specializing in ear, nose and throat, allergy, hearing, plastic surgery, skincare and laser services. They treat children and adults, taking care of conditions such as ear infections, tonsil, sinus and allergy problems, hearing loss and balance issues, skin cancer, as well as cosmetic concerns like wrinkles, spots and sagging. All of these services go hand in hand with their motto of Inner Health. Outer Beauty. Positive Change. Dr. Mathison and her team of twenty-four strive to achieve their mission of enhancing patients' self-esteem, helping them feel better, look better and be better.
what is the most gratifying part of your profession?
Working with patients, helping them make positive changes...whether that is improving how they feel about their looks, treating them for allergies or caring for them as they fight cancer. Whatever I give, I get back ten-fold.
why the name Catalyst and butterfly logo?
Catalyst is a word that for me inspires positive change and butterflies have beautiful symbolism of rebirth and transformation. I thank my creative friends Shannon Charpentier, Sheila Sornsin and Jodi Heilman for this timeless connection. I see butterflies wherever I go.
is there one thing you know now that you wish you had known when you first opened your business?
There is so much to know, it is hard to point out one. It takes a great deal of time and patience, and the practice is constantly evolving and growing. I credit our wonderful staff and Dr. Soine, my colleague at the clinic, for helping build Catalyst into an ever improving practice and taking us to the next level.
what qualities would your patients use to describe you?
Caring and connected.
I have the capacity to work hard and be involved in a profession that cares for others. I love this quote by Albert Schweitzer, the great physician, philosopher and philanthropist: Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.
do you think you have had to make any professional sacrifices when you became a mom?
My profession made it too easy for life to get away from me. I wasn’t able to have children after I got married so I feel very blessed to have been given a second chance through the gift of adoption. Because of my son, Grant, I travel less for meetings, and have lost my Platinum Frequent Flyer status, but cuddling up with a sleepy toddler is well worth it! I keep up with medical advances by reading journals and doing webinars. The internet has really enhanced efficiency for delivering medical information, if you know where to look!
what is the best advice you have gotten as a mom?
Being a doctor, I was constantly vigilant to make sure Grant was still breathing as a baby. My mom told me, you can worry yourself sick, or you can put him to bed in the best way you know how and trust that God and his angels will watch over him.
is there one woman in your life that has been an inspiration to you and why?
My mom. She somehow managed to bring seven children into the world, and shepherd us to adulthood, all the while volunteering and being active in our lives and community. Actually, both of my parents truly exemplify unconditional love and there is rarely a favor or kindness that goes undone by them, especially toward their family.
away from the clinic what might we find you doing?
Taking walks with Grant [or maybe running after him as he is fast as the wind], laughing with my husband, reading with my book/inspiration group, creating and appreciating art, and going to meetings.
do you have any advice for budding Mompreneurs?
Just begin. If you have a great idea, get started in some small way, and do a little bit everyday toward
making your dreams and business come to life. As I mentioned before, things change and evolve over time, but you just need to take some action every day!
I think patients are surprised at the many medical and cosmetic services we offer. We have the largest laser offering in the region. Our next phase of development is Wellness services, as I think our country needs “self-care reform!” We have already offered fitness dance classes here through a partnership with Inspired Dance, as well as a meditation class. Look for more services in the near future.
you and Catalyst Medical Center are very involved in the FM community. What organizations are close to your heart and Catalyst Medical Center supports?
I think giving back has had a great impact on our success. Over the years, my staff and I have been very involved with the United Way, March of Dimes Bowls for Babies, Ronald McDonald House, and the Plains Art Museum. We have sponsored and donated to many other organizations. One of our employees, Cindy Willows, has started a foundation to honor her late husband, Dean, to promote melanoma research and early education about skin cancer. My current focus is serving on the boards of Dakota Medical Foundation and Impact Foundation, both of which are really inspiring and empower local non-profits to do even better work in our community.
I think I gained perspective about what is really important...those little magical moments that happen every day if you pay attention. I have always loved people, but being a mom has really made me think about my patients and their lives beyond the exam room...their daily challenges and moments. I am awed by the grace that my patients display, even when dealing with illness.
Dr. Susan Mathison Catalyst Medical Center1800 21st Avenue South Fargo
p: 701.205.4772
e: amanda@catalystmedicalcenter.com
www.catalystmedicalcenter.com
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story by | key keifer
Oh…the joys of parenthood! Sticky hugs, adoring smiles, homemade cards...then, all of a sudden, you are faced with the question, “Mom, what is sex?” I know, I know. You thought that this moment was years away. It is time for you to prepare and start talking.
Studies show that parents have the single greatest influence on the sexual decisions their children make. Teenagers themselves say that they care deeply what their parents think about sex. That’s why it’s so important to talk openly and honestly with your kids about the risks of sexual activity and the many benefits of saving sex for marriage.
Let’s face it: your child is going to learn about sex from someone, at sometime. He is exposed to 14,000 sexual references every single year [38 per day] in music, television, movies, video games, print ads, etc. It is far better for him to view you as the authority on these issues, instead of the internet or what he hears from friends. You can provide a strong foundation for sexual decision making, built on positive communication and clearly defined boundaries.
Provide guidance regarding sex based on your family’s morals and values. As an extremely intimate human experience, sex can impact one physically, emotionally, spiritually. Parents should consider the most important thing that they want their kids to understand about sex and let that shape the tone of future conversations. An example could be: Sex is a beautiful and private expression of love between a husband and a wife.
Effectively discussing the topics, however, can’t be seen as a one-time event…or even something to wait to begin until the teenage years. This should be an ongoing process that involves educating your child; making natural observations; and responding to the things your kids see and say when you’re together.
From the first moment that you hold your newborn, you teach them something about human love and touch. As they begin to identify their body parts, use proper anatomical terms for genitalia and their functions. A boy has a penis and a girl has a vagina: these are private parts. When you and your child are both comfortable with use of this accurate terminology, a potential barrier to future conversation is eliminated. [Warning: children often like to try out new vocabulary in loud voices at the grocery store. Explain to your child that we don’t talk about genitals in public or with outside voices.]
When your curious child asks you a question about sex, babies, anatomy, etc, take the time to say, “What made you think about that?” Not only will this give you a few moments to gather your thoughts, it will also give you some idea of what sort and how much information they are asking for.
Before puberty, talk to your son or daughter about the changes that will begin to take place in their body. On average, puberty begins between ages nine and eleven for girls and ten and thirteen for boys; your child may begin puberty later or earlier. Explain that everyone experiences this stage of life in a unique way and in their own time.
Arm yourself with up-to-date information about sexually transmitted diseases [STDs], pregnancy and the emotional consequences of early sexual activity from trustworthy sources. Two recent publications that provide a thorough look at the issues include:
“Unprotected” [2006, 2007] by Dr. Miriam Grossman and “Hooked” [2008] by Dr. Joe McIlhaney and Dr. Freda McKissic Bush.
STDs are caused by bacteria, viruses or parasites. Some resolve on their own; some can be treated and cured; some viral STDs [HIV and herpes, in particular] can be treated, but not cured. STDs can be transmitted by vaginal, oral or anal sex. Some STDs, including Human Papilloma Virus [HPV] and herpes, can be spread by contact with infected skin surrounding the area that condoms cover. Teenagers and young adults represent nearly half of the nearly 19 million newly diagnosed STD cases annually. Many STDs have no symptoms and some can lead to genital warts, ulcers, infertility, cancer or even death.
The cost of teen childbearing is high in terms of dollars, as well as its impact on lives. Teen parents are more likely to: drop out of school, continue to have out-of-wedlock babies, change jobs more frequently, be on welfare, have mental and physical health problems. Children of teen parents are more likely to: have low birth weight, have childhood health problems, be hospitalized, be poor, be incarcerated.
In addition to possible physical consequences, emotional consequences that can result from adolescent sexual activity include increased rates of depression and impaired bonding ability in the future. The majority of teens who have been sexually active regret their decision and wish that they would have waited.
While there is no magic script to go by, three key themes to focus on include: reasons to wait, the purposes of sex, and the brain and sex.
Your child does need to hear good reasons to wait to have sex. The pressure surrounding them is intense and includes other related risk behaviors: alcohol, drugs, tobacco, etc. Let him know how valuable he is. Tell him that you want the best for him—and then explain what the best is!
Dream with your child about his future. Talk about what he wants to do after high school. Find out what he thinks the perfect job would be for him to have. Write these goals and dreams down and post them on the fridge. Then, talk about how an emotional breakup, an unplanned pregnancy or contracting an STD may impact his plans.
Teach your child to value his future spouse. Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow recently rendered a room of news media speechless when he announced that he was a virgin and that he was saving himself for marriage. Young people do still make this choice. Ask your child about the sort of person they would like to marry and the character traits that they feel would be important in a life-long mate.
You may be thinking to yourself that your life situation doesn’t include marriage, so why should you encourage your child to wait? Whatever your own
situation is, it doesn’t change the fact that the healthiest decision is to have one sexual partner for life. The chances of that are significantly higher if a person waits until marriage to have sex.
Talk to your child about the purposes of sex within marriage: babies and bonding. A majority of married couples do have children. And, for the most part, sexual intercourse is how babies happen!
Intimacy in marriage – including, but not limited to, intercourse – is the glue that holds the relationship together. Sex provides pleasure, encourages faithfulness and even helps couples move through stressful times. All of this serves to intensify the bond between husband and wife.
Recent advances in neuroscience technology have allowed scientists to actually map brain activity and make new discoveries. One of the most important discoveries for parents should be the fact that we now know that the brain is not fully developed until a person reaches their early- to mid-twenties. Included in this late brain development are the structures that are responsible for mature decision making and impulse control.
During sex and sexual arousal, chemicals [oxytocin in women and vasopressin in men] are released in the brain that facilitates bonding between the participants in the sexual activity. Oxytocin is also released in women during labor and nursing, which aids in bonding mother to infant. This brain bonding works beautifully in marriage to create strong bonds. Outside of marriage, however, it can be painful to have a relationship end when you are chemically bonded to one another.
This would also be the opportune moment to begin discussions about sexting, lascivious electronic conversations and pornography. The same brain chemicals are released with sexual arousal and/or release from viewing pornography or other titillating material as are released when the arousal involved
another person. The explosion in technology over the past several decades has made it imperative that parents equip their children and teens with guidance, boundaries and a safe place to talk about these issues. You can visit www.illusionsprogram.net to get additional information and resources about this issue.
You know your child better than anyone else. You are best able to gauge how much information to share at a given time. It is more important to speak from your heart
not from a script. Ask open-ended questions to get a conversation started.
If your child has already started having sex, you absolutely need to talk with them. First, make sure that they receive testing for STDs. Next, understand that the past is the past. He can start over and choose to wait. He needs to know that he can turn to you for support and accountability…not for punishment.
Your own past may include some sexual decisions that you now regret. Don’t let this stop you from encouraging your child to make the healthiest choice, by waiting to have sex. None of us want our children to repeat the mistakes that we made or the consequences that we faced as a result.
Finally, you may wonder if you shouldn’t be teaching your child about condoms, just in case. The world throws sex and condoms at your child every day. You don’t need to. Tell them that you believe they can rise to the standard that your family has set. You may be the only one giving them this encouragement. And, you may save them from a lifetime of regret.
Be an ever-available resource to your children. Encourage them to ask you question and be honest with your answers. If you don’t know the answer, tell them that and then commit to finding the answer.
For additional assistance and resources, contact Make a Sound Choice at 701.297.7548.
Christian learning center with dedicated teachers
Serving children ages 2 thru pre-k School age summer program 701.271.1810 • 3534 University Dr S, www.elimcare.org/facilities/ecc-fargoFargo
a ministry of elim care
Ages 3, 4 & 5
Christian Preschool
Interactive open house February 11th 5:30-7:00 pm.
Triumph Lutheran Brethren Church 2901 20th Street South, Moorhead
Call now 233-4048 www.littlelightspreschool.com
Toddler Program | 3-5 year old
Certified Montessori lead teachers. Daily Spanish lessons as well as cultural programs, social & emotional learning and service learning projects. Developmentally appropriate curriculum.
1612 Tom Williams Dr, Fargo (behind Eckroth Music on 32nd Ave S) 701.232.1133 • www.fargomontessori.com
A Faith-Based Lutheran School Preschool
Educatingthe whole child: academically,socially, physically,emotionally, creatively & spiritually.ScholarshipsAvailable.
Have your children on campus with you! Now enrolling Children ages 16 months to 6 years Grant Program available to Students 218-477-2214
Or Visit Us Online At WWW.MNSTATE.EDU/CHILDCARE
Thru Grade 8
Before & After Care Available • ½ Day AM Preschool with PM Childcare • Full Day Pre-Kindergarten & Kindergarten
February 8th–Preschool Open House @ Beautiful Savior Lutheran Church February 9th–Pre-Kindergarten & Kindergarten
Open House at GLS 701.232.7747 • 1025 14th Ave S, Fargo www.gracelutheranschool.org • jkrupski@gracels.com
Serving Children Ages 3-5
Committed to educating ‘the whole child’, through physical, intellectual, social & spiritual instruction. Structured group activities, dramatic play, cooperative games, weekly chapel, music, story-time, art, field trips & much more.
Open House February 22nd 5–6:30 pm
701. 232.2189 • 1710 5th St. S, Fargo
preschool@stjohnfargo.com
A non for profit ministry of St. John Lutheran Church for the entire community.
Serving Children Ages 3-5
Providing quality Christian education in a safe & caring environment where children with their families can grow in their knowledge of God’s Word & develop an educational foundation for the future.
Open House February 18th 5–7pm & March 16th 5–7pm
Aministry ofShepherd of theValley Lutheran Church 701.356.LAMB(5262) • 121 Sheyenne St, West Fargo • www.sotvlittlelambs.org
Looking for a trusted daycare or quality preschool for the kiddos? Check out these great locations in the FM area.
As a mom we want “it all” for our children. From the simpler things like lining up play dates to the more complicated issues like career choices, we are there for them every step of the way. We strive to nurture their physical, emotional, social, and academic needs and we do it all because we love them like no other.
It goes without saying that we want them to be healthy. We all know how important that is, yet it can seem so challenging at times. Our country is struggling with an obesity issue and our children are at risk. Diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, allergies, and ADHD are all on the rise. According to the American Academy of Obesity more than 30% of our kids are overweight. Why is this happening?
Our food industry has changed in the last 20 years: we are bombarded with unhealthy fast food, processed and genetically modified foods and super sized portions. Our lifestyles have changed: we walk less, drive more, spend less time preparing meals and too much time in front of the TV and computer screen.
The good news...we do have choices! When we promote health and wellness in our homes we protect our children from these trends. We empower them with the tools they need to feel their very best.... a gift that lasts a lifetime.
you’ve
Exercise is SO important. Be a good role model and encourage your kids to keep moving. Limit time in front of the computer and TV to one hour a day and you’re off to a great start. Everyone in the family needs 45 to 60 minutes of exercise a day [that means your heart rate is up and you’re sweating]. If we exercise our kids will too.
got munchies? choose fruits and veggies Let children choose their favorites and then shoot for 5-7 servings each day. Accessibility is key! Keep a bag of each in the refrigerator so kids can grab them when they’re hungry. Put another bag in a small cooler in your car so they’re there for the kids [and you] as you taxi around town. Buying frozen is okay. They are
frozen right after being picked so they are as healthy, if not healthier, than fresh. Fruits and veggies are jam packed with vitamins and minerals.
smart start Children who eat a healthy breakfast are more likely to meet their nutritional needs and keep their weight under control. Keep it balanced by serving foods with protein and whole grains such as:
1. whole grain cereal with fruit and milk
2. whole grain toast with peanut butter
3. smoothie with yogurt, milk and fruit [toss in some protein powder for a boost]
It is whole grain if the first ingredient on the nutritional label contains the word whole [ex: whole wheat, whole wheat flour, whole rye] .Brown rice, buckwheat, and oatmeal are also whole grain products .Multigrain simply means it’s composed of various grains, not necessarily whole grains “Wheat flour” is simply refined white flour not whole grain
know the skinny on your fats Keep trans fats out of your house. They have no nutritional value and contribute to heart disease and high cholesterol...yes even in our kids!! Don’t trust food packaging. Be nutritionally savvy by checking the ingredient list instead. Trans fats are listed as “partially hydrogenated oils”. They are found in cookies, crackers, chips, fried foods, margarine...Stay Clear! Cook with healthy oils like olive, canola, and safflower, but keep at medium heat to avoid damage to the oil. Some research shows that overheating can turn oil into a carcinogen.
The food industry allows manufacturers to advertise a food as having “No trans fats” if it has less than 5 gm per serving .This is deceiving! Outsmart the advertiser .
lay off the sweet stuff High sugar diet = obesity = diabetes. It’s as simple as that. Say no to sugar filled sport drinks [Gatorade, Powerade...], sodas, and vitamin water. Falsely advertised as being “good” for us, these products contain up to 10 teaspoons of added sugar per 12 oz serving. Limit fruit juice to 6 oz a day.
Encourage your family to drink water and milk [full of calcium, protein and Vitamin D] on a regular basis. Keep fresh, filtered water in the refrigerator. Adding fresh lemon or frozen fruits gives it some flavor. Organic milk is healthier than regular and is well worth the investment.
boost your immune system Vitamin D protects our bones and boosts our ability to fight infection. We get it in milk, fortified cereal and sunlight [not enough in the North]. Most kids and adolescents aren’t getting enough so doctors recommend they take supplements [400 IUs/day]. To keep influenza out of your house, make sure you’re getting enough Vitamin D. It’s a must!
z-out Sleep is as important as food, drink and safety when it comes to our children’s well-being. It “recharges” their brains and bodies and is necessary for them to develop and stay healthy. Each child is unique, but there are guidelines you can follow:
age hours/day
1-3 12-14
4-6 11-12
7-12 10-1
13-18 8-9
all in the family It feels so great! Kids love it, parents love it...even the dog seems happier when everyone is around. Family meals foster warmth, security and love. It’s a chance to share information and really “get into” the minds and hearts of the people we love the most.
Making changes can sometimes feel overwhelming. Whether it’s motivating your kids to exercise or making healthy food choices, try to focus on just a couple things at a time. Get comfortable with that and then move on to another. Before you know it you will be amazed by what you’ve accomplished. Our world is changing and the health of our children is at stake. As moms, it’s an issue we can’t ignore...but we can control.
photography by | rialee photography
It’s amazing how the decisions people make in their lives can have a direct impact on who we are and what path we take. Even the choices of those we have never met can set into motion a series of events never imagined. For Heidi Funk, a convergence of people coming into and out of her life has helped make her into the person she is today. She is the first to tell you that if it weren’t for the moments of sheer happiness and devastating loss she has experienced, she would not know the true joy that life can bring.
Heidi grew up in the small Minnesota town of Borup. She had two loving parents, a younger brother and lots of friends. In high school, the cute, ambitious blonde landed both a spot on the cheerleading squad and at the International Science Fair in San Juan, Puerto Rico. “She would set goals and work for them,” says her mother, Linda Smith. “Heidi was always motivated.”
In the fall of her senior year, Heidi met a guy from a neighboring high school in Ada, Minnesota. By all accounts, Bill Jacobson was that guy in high school—popular, athletic, intelligent, friendly. “Bill made people feel good about themselves,” says Linda. It was perfect timing.
Just after Christmas that year, Heidi’s parents called a family meeting. Her parents were getting divorced. Heidi was devastated. “I had a very hard time with it,” she recalls. So she turned to her loving boyfriend for support and guidance. “Bill really helped me get past it and show me that I needed to forgive my dad and I needed to rebuild that relationship,” she says. “And I did.”
In the meantime, high school sweethearts Heidi and Bill made plans to build a life together and things were going exactly as planned. “We dated for a couple of years before we got engaged, waited until we had finished college to get married, waited to find stable jobs before we bought a house, and then waited a couple of years until we were settled to start a family,” she explains. “As a mom, I saw something “special” [between them] even as friends,” says Heidi’s mom, Linda. “They complimented each other completely.” Bill’s mother, Kathy, agrees. “They had a very loving marriage in which to us it seemed liked they shared everything with each other…even a twin bed!”
So, at the age of 25, Heidi says she and Bill felt comfortable with the idea of becoming parents. “There were a couple of set backs, some unexpected miscarriages, but by December of 1996 I had, at last, been able to reach 20 weeks in my pregnancy,” she says. Heidi and Bill were overjoyed. They even had a name picked out. “We finally let ourselves relax,” she says.
On a Friday afternoon, Bill, a math teacher, chose to share his proud news with some of his students. That evening, Heidi and Bill decided to go Christmas shopping in St. Cloud, about a half hour away from Milaca, Minnesota where they lived. “It was an unremarkable evening—errands, dinner, a little shopping,” recalls Heidi. They headed for home around 9 pm because Heidi had to work early the next day. “I reclined my seat to catch a quick snooze on the way home. I squeezed his hand, blew him a little kiss and drifted off.” At that very moment, a man was leaving a bar.
The man, who already had several previous drunken driving convictions was, once again, getting behind the wheel while intoxicated. He confused the 4-lane highway he was traveling on for a 2-lane road. He came up a hill, rounded a curve…and slammed headon into Heidi and Bill. Because of the impact of the crash, Heidi, who had been sitting in the front passenger seat, needed to be rescued from the trunk. Bill suffered a broken neck and died instantly.
“The very, very first thing I remember was waking up with my mom on one side of me and Bill’s mom on the other side,” she says. “And, right away that struck me as odd, because why would she be with me? I asked, ‘Where’s Bill?’ I saw a look pass between them
and I knew. They acted like they couldn’t understand me because I was on a ventilator but they knew what I was asking.” Heidi fell back asleep, utterly exhausted. She had a closed head trauma, a lacerated liver and the right side of her body was crushed. During the first couple of days after the accident, Heidi underwent 13 hours of surgeries and Heidi and Bill’s baby died in utero. “I remember delivering our son [stillborn],” she says, “and afterward struggling to decide if I should use the name we had picked out for a boy or to name him after his father.”
She named him William, Jr., after his dad. They are buried together in Ada.
Faced with incredible uncertainty—about her health, her job, her life—Heidi began to rebuild her body with remarkable determination. “My greatest fear had always been that somehow I would lose Bill,” she says. “But, really, it was knowing how much he believed in me that helped me face all the scary unknowns.” She immediately set about trying to find a doctor willing to help her regain mobility in her ankles as previous doctors had told her she would never walk again. She contacted a foot and ankle trauma specialist and he successfully reconstructed both of Heidi’s ankles.
Heidi’s rehabilitation was long and difficult. “It was painful, it was scary, it was hard work,” she says. Heidi’s mother took a leave of absence from her job to care for her daughter. Bill’s family remained firmly in Heidi’s life. “Bill chose Heidi to be a part of our family through his love for her and through their marriage, and his death wouldn’t change that,” Kathy says. “We told her from the day of the accident on that we loved her and she would always be our daughter-in-law.”
With the immediate danger of losing her own life finally out of the way, the overwhelming grief caused by the accident began to grip Heidi’s heart and soul.
“With my condition stable and some of the shock having worn off a bit, I was finally feeling the devastation of the loss of my husband and child,” Heidi recalls. But a chance meeting with a chaplain at the hospital where she was recovering helped put Heidi’s life back on a path that she thought had been shattered forever.
“She told me that it was okay to be angry. I believe that had this chaplain not given me the permission to allow myself to experience these emotions as part of
my grieving, that I would have spent my entire life feeling conflicted in my faith.” Heidi adds.
Halloween, 1998. Two years had passed since Heidi’s accident. At a costume party, her cousin introduced her to a guy she knew from work. On their first date, John Funk remembers asking: ‘What has brought you here at this point in your life to be sitting here on a date with me?’
“She paused and thought for a moment and then responded that her story would scare me and she was not sure I was ready or would ever be ready for the whole thing,” he says. “I encouraged her to please share and Heidi gave me a real quick overview of the accident and her loss and briefly explained to me what had happed to her. I was stunned!”
Over the next few months, the new couple talked about Heidi’s health and she disclosed that there could come a day when she probably wouldn’t be able to walk; her inability to carry a child—the accident had stripped her of that; and Heidi’s relationship with Bill’s family—they would always play an important
role in her life. “I’m sure that he had to do quite a bit of soul searching to decide if these were things that he could truly accept,” Heidi says. One thing that made his decision a little easier was being accepted by Bill’s family.
“Almost immediately, Curt and Kathy welcomed me into Heidi’s life and into theirs as well,” John says. The feeling is mutual. “We admire John immensely and dearly love him as our ‘son-in-law,’” says Kathy.
“We are so blessed that he accepts us as family, too.”
“It would’ve been very easy for them to turn their backs in their pain,” says Heidi. “I am so lucky to have such supportive people and an open-minded husband.”
Shortly after Heidi and John got married, they started looking into adoption. Naturally, they shared their aspiration with family members—Heidi and John’s quest caught the ear of Melissa Lessard, a police officer who is married to Heidi’s step-brother Larry. Already a mother herself, Melissa says she couldn’t help but wish for the same for Heidi and John. But
what Melissa did next went beyond wishing—she started her own quest. She began researching surrogacy and gestational carriers [where a woman carries another couple’s biological child]. She printed everything she could find on the subjects and then sat down with her husband. “When I told Larry what I was thinking of doing, he was all for it,” says Melissa.
On a dreary winter afternoon, Larry and Melissa surprised Heidi and John with a rare visit from the Twin Cities. But that was nothing compared to the shock they were about to get. “We learned that they had come to offer to carry a child for us [as a gestational carrier]!,” Heidi exclaims.
Heidi and John talked, researched, prayed and searched their hearts before coming to their answer: “It was just too incredible to refuse,” Heidi says. “What an enormous gift.” The fact that Heidi never would have met Melissa had she not forgiven her father [with Bill’s help], is not lost on her. “Who would’ve ever thought,” she wonders.
Heidi and John named their first baby boy Evan. He’s now 7-years-old. “Raising him has been the greatest joy of our lives,” says Heidi. Melissa says the experience has created an unbreakable bond between their families. “I feel truly blessed and honored that she allowed me to be Evan’s gestational carrier,” says Melissa. “It takes a lot of trust to allow someone else to carry your child for nine months.”
As the years passed, Heidi realized she wanted another child. She and John just didn’t know how to go about it. She says her step-brother and sister-in-law again offered to carry a child. “But the truth was, that Evan’s infancy had been very difficult for me physically,” Heidi says. “Carrying around a 20-pound-plus baby took its toll on me, and by the time Evan was 2-and-a-half-years-old, I had had 4 surgeries, with fairly long recoveries during which I could not lift or carry him.”
So the couple returned to its original plan – adoption. Heidi and John chose to adopt internationally, from
Ukraine. “Their adoption system works a little differently than most,” she says, adding, “supposedly you are given a little input into the child you are matched with.” But that process doesn’t normally begin until after potential parents arrive in the country. The process was challenging: multiple plane rides, broken promises, several train trips, long stays in rented apartments and no guarantees. In a small orphanage, they would meet a dark haired boy with brown eyes that could melt your heart. His name was Jonah and he was their son. Just when they were ready to return home, government official explained Jonah wouldn’t be able to make this trip due to passport issues. Heidi and John would return to the U.S. without Jonah. Making matters worse was that Heidi would have to make the final trip back to Ukraine by herself because John had exhausted his vacation time from work. “I would take custody of a child who did not speak any English in a country where I did not speak the language and was most often without a translator,” Heidi recalls. But a familiar friend stepped up to help—Heidi’s first husband’s mother, Kathy. In the end, the two women brought home Jonah, who just turned eight.
John says he can’t think of a better mother. “She is not only the coordinator of the Funk Household, but really spends much of her time caring for them,” he says. “Since she has physical limitations that remove her from play and physical participation with the boys, Heidi takes care of their emotional and behavioral development. She always puts family first.”
So, how is it that this woman, who seemingly lost it all in one tragic event, has managed to create a joyfilled and joy-full life? She would tell you—perhaps surprisingly—that she chose it. And she thinks Bill would approve.
“Bill was very optimistic, upbeat and easygoing,” she explains. “He was a person who enjoyed life. He chose to be happy. And after he was gone, I thought, I can do that. I can just choose to be happy. It’s not always easy; I have days where I’m very frustrated by my limitations and pain. I just don’t want to waste the emotional energy thinking about that. I want to be happy.”
cocktail
[5:30 p.m.]
dinner [6:30 p.m.]
dance [8:00 p.m.]
ticket [$30]
All Sugar Ball and Silent Auction proceeds benefit finding a cure.
photograph by | scott thuen
story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe
These kiddos allow us to experience the greatest love possible. But along the way there are also plenty of nail biting, hand wringing, hair pulling experiences. Here are some tips to get through some common stressors.
Seriously, could there be a cuter wee one? Those cheeks, that tuft of hair, those long fingers & little toes…cutest ever! But, man it would be so sweet if he could sleep longer at night! Can you even imagine a full night’s sleep? Heck how about 5 hours in a row… heaven [sigh]!
nitey nite
While sleep deprivation is a rite of passage for new parents, it doesn’t make it any easier to go through. Your
new wee one is just following his internal job description: get through this most vulnerable stage and grow up big and strong. As adults we sleep much differently than our wee ones. We enter stages of deep sleep, but our wee ones spend a majority of their sleep in an active state where they can be easily aroused. Research has shown this to be a survival mechanism that allows your wee one to meet his basic needs. If he slept too deeply, he may not easily wake when he needs to eat or is cold or not feeling well. So, while a full night’s sleep sounds fabulous to you, remember your wee one needs to wake often.
seriously!
OK, for some reason there is an unwritten rule that an exceptional parenting style will result in respective wee one sleeping longer, sooner…we call BS! Don’t get caught up in the bragging match of ‘my wee one sleeps longer than your wee one’ and don’t be one of those mama exaggerators! There are tons of books, sleep aids and other mamas with advice on how to get your wee one to sleep through the night such as:
• you hear that? Comfort sounds or white noise such as radio static, a sound machine or fan.
• plug it A pacifier may have multiple benefits as research has found a strong association between pacifier use and reduced incidence of SIDS.
• step by step Get a bedtime routine: bath, bottle, bed.
• crib or no crib Some swear by swaddling and others the car seat.
There are companies and authors that have made millions offering wee one sleep advice. It’s always important to remember every wee one is different and you need to follow your heart and try the techniques that fit your family.
since 1983, the rate of SIDS has fallen by over 50%
We’veall been there. You’re at Target, the grocery store or a restaurant and your tot ticking-timebomb goes off. You feel the stares. You read their thoughts, “Control your kid, Lady!” Some avoid eye contact and others give you a sheepish smile that says, “I feel your pain, sista!” All you want is for your tot to realize you’re the boss! Good luck!
You tot wants to go, go, go and they are trying to investigate and control their environment. So, when you are telling him something that is contrary to his intentions, he doesn’t like it. There are typically two types of tantrums:
frustration tantrums This tantrum is due to your tots inability to communicate. Your tot has developed his mental and motor skills, but his verbal skills are lacking. With this type of tantrum, your tot needs your empathy. Help him ‘tell’ you what he needs using his words and nonverbal cues.
manipulative tantrums Our tots can be perfect button pushers! If he is using a tantrum to get his way, don’t fall for it. Ignoring his spectacle or walking away is the best way to teach him this behavior is not acceptable.
So, what’s the magic recipe to curb tantrums…there isn’t one! But we can do our best to prevent as many as possible and defuse them as quickly as possible when they do happen:
• remember to stay calm Let your tot have the tantrum and don’t join in. A tantrum doesn’t mean your tot is ‘bad’ or you’re failing as a parent. So, deal with your own potential short fuse. A mature response from you will have a far better response from your tantrum throwing tot.
• figure out what lights the fuse Pay attention to triggers that prompt a tantrum. Even consider
keeping a journal. How you effectively deal with a tantrum will differ between tots. Maybe a timeout is best, ignoring the behavior or maybe you leave the shopping cart in the aisle and head to the car with tot in tow.
• have a plan A tantrum is more likely to happen when he is tired or hungry, so plan ahead. One more stop on errand day right during prime naptime, probably isn’t a good idea.
She hit me….Maaaa-uum! He took the puzzle…Maaaa-uum! She said a bad word…sound familiar? Tattling can be annoying and you might feel like a broken record of “stop tattling!”
to tell or tattle
No one likes a tattletale, but there are times we want our preschooler to tell us about inappropriate behavior. So,
we need to let her know the difference between tattling and reporting.
Tattling is when your preschooler is telling an adult about the actions of another child with the sole intention of getting that child in trouble. Reporting is telling an adult about the actions of another child with the intension of getting help for someone in danger or a harmful situation. Make it clear that you do not like tattling, but situations where someone could get hurt need to be told to an adult. Use relevant, real life examples of dangerous/ harmful behavior. Not waiting your turn isn’t the same as playing in the street or swimming without a lifejacket. tattletale
So, why does your preschooler tattle on her siblings or playmates? She might be looking for attention [I know the reason for most any naughty behavior, but still true], trying to gain power or control of her situation or she might even be expressing her moral responsibility to call out all the rule breakers. Think about it, you…the all knowing person in charge…have explained it is wrong to not hang up your coat. This injustice must be pointed out!
How you react to tattling is very important. You need to make the tattling useless. Either ignore the tattling or let your preschooler know the issue at hand doesn’t need to concern them [“You don’t need to worry about Jay’s coat”] or they don’t need to concern you [“Talk to Jay about his coat, not me.”]. It’s also very important not to reward the tattler by punishing the other child. Tattling won’t last forever and soon your preschooler will learn the world isn’t so black and white and they can navigate some of the rough waters.
years]
a typical 3 year-old gains about 4-5 pounds and grows about 2-3 inches
Your big kid looks you right in the eyes and says, “Wasn’t me. I didn’t do it.” I mean looks you right in the eye and you KNOW he did it. What’s up with that?
So, why would your big kid lie? This can be very upsetting for you, but it is a normal part of development. At this age your big kid may be trying to test his limits rather than laying the ground work for his future life of crime!
While younger kiddos may not understand lying is wrong, your big kid is at a stage of understanding right from wrong. At this age, big kids lie for a number of reasons such as avoiding punishment, protecting a friend or family member, trying to get something they want, or [sorry] they hear you doing it. We’re not saying you’re some kind of compulsive liar, but there are the times you tell a little white lie to get out of a meeting or appointment you’re trying to avoid and those little ears are always listening, so watch yourself and be a good example. [Of course Santa is the universal exception to truth telling. Keep that one going as long as you can!]
Here’s your opportunity to do some life’s lessons teaching. Don’t overreact to the situation, but make it clear that lying isn’t acceptable. Set the boundaries and stay consistent in your punishment. Also, understand the power of your disapproval. Letting your big kid know he let you down can have a greater response than any punishment. Then talk about what happened and ask your big kid how lying made him feel. Does he like other people lying to him? Lastly talk about why lying is wrong. Be sure to also consider what is happening in your big
kid’s life as stress can prompt some naughty behavior in the effort to attract more attention. If your big kid continues to be dishonest and other destructive behaviors enter the picture, seek an outside professional especially if he isn’t showing remorse for his wrong doings.
years]
studies have found kiddos spend more time watching TV than any other activity except sleeping
Remembera time, not so long ago, when you were the queen jellybean in your kiddo’s world? You were cool, had all the answers and a trusted companion. Things are changing. Now you might be embarrassing and suddenly [cringe] old. NOOOOOOO! Gone are the days of holding your hand in public or kissing you good bye in front of his friends and welcome the closed bedroom door and one word answers.
As your tween craves more independence, gets busier at school, has a more important social life, it might feel like your guidance isn’t needed or wanted. Our tweens can be impulsive and easily influenced by their peers and while it may seem challenging, it is still very important [maybe more than ever] that you remain a central part of their life. And don’t underestimate the positive influence and role you play in your tween’s decision making. Here are some tips for staying connected:
• eat up Meal time is a perfect opportunity to talk. Turn off the TV, don’t answer the phone and just be together.
• r-e-s-p-e-c-t Your tween needs and deserves his privacy, so respect it just like you want them to respect yours. But, step in when the situation warrants.
• do as I do Be the model of positive behavior for your tween.
• luv u Say it often and don’t underestimate how powerful those words and a hug are.
• limits please Set clear, consistent rules for your tween. They need them.
• in the know Stay involved in your tween’s interests and activities by being their biggest cheerleader and supporter. Inevitably there are going to be times you need to help him through disappointments. Be empathetic and teach him to never give up. Also, know your tween’s friends. Peers are very influential at this age, so know who he’s hanging with.
• talk with, not at Your tween doesn’t want to always be told what to do, who does? You’ll quickly become the nag. Talk with your tween and really listen to his thoughts and opinions. You have to let him make his own decision and mistakes, but mama still knows best, so get in the mix when it is necessary.
it’s estimated that the buying power of today’s tweens is roughly $40 billion
There may be no greater hair-pulling experience than watching your teen underachieve. Whether it is in the classroom, workplace, home or playing field doesn’t matter…frustrating!
just do it
Motivation is tricky. Motivation can basically be attributed to love or fear. Think about the things in your life. You are motivated to sit for hours cutting out stencils and going through countless pictures because you love scrapbooking. At the same time you can’t stand your job, but you go everyday because you don’t want to be unemployed. It’s the same thing for your teen. The things they are passionate about won’t need any nudging from you, but in other areas they may need a [figurative] kick in the rear! Truth be told, you can’t really make your teen be motivated, but the world is filled with things we have to do. Here are some tips to help draw out their inner motivation:
• get a goal Your teen has special gifts and talents and like all of us limitations as well. Talk to your teen about what they want to accomplish. Listen to his dreams and help him set realistic goals.
• plan it out Sit down with your teen and work together on a realistic plan for achieving the goal at hand and really listen to him. He needs to feel he’s the main decision maker and calling the shots because it is his plan. Determine the steps that need to happen in order to reach the goal and revisit the plan often. Consistently check how the plan is working and recommit or make changes as needed.
• stay the course Keep encouraging your teen. Talk about and visualize with them the success they will have. Let them know how proud you are of their efforts.
• fear factor Like we mentioned before fear is a motivator, so if the fear of losing driving privileges, or a night out with friends or that new video game
works…so be it. Everything in life has consequences so your teen might as well learn that now.
• get help Recognize if your teen needs outside professional help whether it be an academic tutor or counselor for an underlying issue such as depression. Dealing with these issues is essential to your teen’s healthy development.
Sources: www babycenter com | www askdrsears com | www drgreene com www parenting kaboose com | www familytlc net | www positivediscipline com www teenskills com | www kidshealth org | www healthychildren org
years]
the US high school graduation rate ranks 19th in the world [40 years ago, we were #1]
She is our quintessential, “do-it-all” mom and friend who reminds us to remember the woman behind the mom.
If you were making a movie about your marriage or current relationship, what would it be called? If it’s closer to The Big Chill than Endless Love, you’re not alone. Let’s be honest, parenthood is famous for squeezing the romance out of a relationship. During the first year as a mom, the reasons are obvious—you’re sleep deprived, suffer from hormone induced mood swings, and the baby consumes your attention 24/7. But long after the nursing bra has been retired, many ladies continue to feel bummed and burned out by the stresses of raising kids, working, cooking, cleaning and etc. The result? A marriage that feels about as romantic as changing a dirty diaper. The bright side is you can revive the romance and passion, but you can’t expect it to simply happen. Here is some food for thought to help you find your romantic groove.
Make time for each other. Ask yourself how much time you’ve spent ALONE with your significant other in the last six months and sleeping next to each other in the same room at night doesn’t count. But seriously, I get the whole we only have 24 hours in each day and our kids and job consume most of it. Is a date night good, yes! But if finding someone to watch the kids is hard and money is tight, just simple free up T-I-M-E for each other even if it’s just a few minutes daily to
talk or go for a walk and reconnect. We are all guilty of saying, “I need to make it a point to…” or “tomorrow I will…” Let’s face it, before we know it, we will all be in that empty nest phase and too often couples are left sitting there starring at one another wondering, ‘now what’ and ‘who are you again?’ Make time now so you have it with each other later.
Do the fun things that used to make you feel close. Think back to your pre-kid and even pre-marriage days. What were the things the two of you liked to do as a couple? Try cuddling on the coach together or break out into one of those ‘I almost peed my pants’ tickle matches or blast your old Whitney Houston CD and slow dance around your kitchen island. Rediscover the memories and each other.
Just do it. The kids are asleep. It’s a great time for a little nookie, except for one problem: you’re not in the mood. Here are two words for you – so what? There are days when you feel the same way about work, but you still have to get up and go to the office. Learn to emotional engage even when you have a conflicting thought. If you need to ‘make a date for sex’, by all means do it. Scheduling time for intimacy may sound unromantic, but it really isn’t. Fantasizing about it only heightens the anticipation, not to mention for those ladies a little
less likely to consider a nooner; you might just find being pulled out of your shell isn’t so bad. Wink…wink.
Deal with conflicts. If [okay, when] your partner flakes out on his household duties, how do you react? Do you say something, or roll your eyes and zip your lips? Ignoring the problem may seem easier, but do you harbor an unhealthy grudge? Pick and choose your battles and determine when burning a hole through him with a stair is necessary or when simply walking away and putting yourself in a timeout is the better decision. The bottom line is couples MUST keep the channels of communication open. Leave the game playing for junior high and remember a little come to Jesus talk now and then is okay.
Be sexy even when there is no chance of having sex. Kiss on your way out the door in the morning, and I mean the real deal kind of kiss that jump starts your heart rate and sends tingles to all the right places. Maybe it’s a quick cop-a-feel moment or simply leave a sexy phone message during the day [one that doesn’t include a request to make a stop at the grocery store on the way home].
Find out your partners idea of TLC. Ask him to be honest and tell you what makes him feel cared for and respected. Is it the chance to watch a football game undisturbed, a morning to sleep in, a nice dinner or simple just time alone with you—and then make it a point to do one thing on his list regularly.
Express what you want. Some ladies believe in marital ESP. They think, if their partner really loved them, he should know what they want. As if! Unless you tell him, your partner won’t have a clue how romantic you think it would be if he parented the kids so you could have an uninterrupted soak in the tub ALONE. Let’s face it, boys and girls are wired differently and they don’t come with remote controls.
Now, as you sit there pondering what parts of this article remotely apply to you, at the very least consider it’s time to make some changes. I’m not suggesting you turn yourself into some ragging sex hound [although your partner might differ] but rather make an effort to find that spark that started it all. Get your romance back on the to-do list.
photograph by | rialee photography
Of two sisters one is always the watcher, one the dancer.
—Louise Glück
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