Adam’s last letter Jia Jia Chen / 4t d’ESO LLENGUA ANGLESA_1r PREMI For my family. No parent should bury their own child. I really tried to repair myself. I have taken each pill to try and feel normal. I thought I would have a lot more to say about sticking with this but, I failed. I wish I could say don’t worry, don’t hate me and keep going, but I know it will be more difficult than that. I thought I would cry more while writing this, but I can’t. I’m trying to scratch off any emotion or feeling, but I can’t feel anything anymore. I feel a burst of anger, regret, sadness, and loss of hope. I’ve been trying to look on the bright side of things lately, but I can’t. I no longer feel invincible the way I used to feel when I was just a kid. I wish things would go back to the way they used to be. I wish I was in sixth grade again, in my old house, huddled in a corner where I felt safe at times. My room and my home. I feel hopeless and like there is no heaven. I am blessed, but not enough to stay. I wish someone could teach me what happiness is. I like to imagine it, it would be a house close to the family, with someone who loves me and a son or daughter of mine, but that’s not how things work. Life is nothing more than a string of sadness with few “golden” moments. Those are few and far between. It is a constant battle to be happy and then you die. My golden moments are over. It is finally time to find my peace. I want everyone to move on quickly. If it helps you cope, you can pray to my corpse. Stop by my grave and bring me lavender. Write me a letter like I used to do with you. Shout to the sky and ask me why I was selfish. All I have in my name are the pills I take and they apparently no longer work. I have a couple of bills in my wallet. Give them to my little sister
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