Photo by Rita Moret
Ice Maidens Invade Senior Quad by Debbie Reece I've concluded that heat must make some people's runny noses and coughs. It's become a cat-and-mouse body thermometers go crazy. g a m e with everyone trying to stay u p later than them W h e n the heat and humidity soar, they want it cold so they can turn off or at least turn u p the air condiinside. We're not talking refreshingly cool; Imeandig- tioner. Then m a y b e w e could all get one night's sleep out-the-sweatshirts-and-wool-socks-or-your-toenails- without seeing our breath in the air or having icicles form on our eyelashes. will-turn-blue cold. O n e night it was 30 degrees outside, and still they Unfortunately, these people decide their calling is to control the temperature inside buildings such as kept turning on the air conditioner. They seem to have D e M o s s Hall. Thus, w e are all affected by their warped no concept of opening the w i n d o w to let cool air in. "They must have grown u p in Alaska," you say. N o , body temperatures. Even if it's 90 degrees outside, most L U students k n o w they can't wear short sleeves they call North Carolina home. W e have yet to find a without being prepared to freeze in at least one class- logical explanation for their constant state of being overheated. room. If w e try to explain that w e do not enjoy constantly However, this species of h u m a n being has n o w feeling like we're locked in a meat freezer, they simply invaded m y o w n quad. W e (the other eight people in the quad) affectionately call them the "Ice Maidens." If say, "Well, can't y'all close your vents. Y o u just don't the temperature tops 60 degrees, they complain, "Y'all, understand h o w hot it is in our room." They don't understand that our vents have not only it's hotter than Hades in here!" M u c h to the despair of the rest of us, they were been shut, they've been covered, insulated and nailed assigned to the room right next to the temperature shut. Even if w e had wanted to open them, w e couldn' t control for the entire quad. They feel perfectly free to because they're frozen shut. Until someone finds a cure for their mysterious use it to their advantage, too. If the sound of teeth malady, I guess we're destined to a life of sleeping chattering starts to drive one of us crazy, w e have to cautiously tiptoe by their door and as silently as pos- under flannel sheets on balmy nights, suffering from frostbite w h e n our bare feet hit the bathroom floor in sible adjust the temperature gauge. Within a few days of their arrival this semester, the morning and gathering around the microwave to everyone else in our quad w a s sporting sore throats, absorb every bit of heat possible.
